Horribly, horrible terror on Hyrule
by Kimmoboy
Summary: Kimmoboy(Me) has glitched the whole thing! First, Navi has no wings, Second, Link wats a Party Set, Last, KIMMO HAS Renamed the whole Hyrule! Find out! R&R!
1. The cheating Exp

Horribly, horrible terror on Hyrule  
  
  
  
A/N: Howdy'all! I have never wrote one single Zelda fic so feel sympathy. I do not own Zelda. YadiyadiYadda. Well on with it!  
  
  
  
(Link's house)  
  
(Night)  
  
Link: Woo!! (Dancing)  
  
Saria: Yea! (Spins the DJ)  
  
Mido: COOL! (Drinks a lot of Beer)  
  
Know it all Brothers: Let's party baby!  
  
(Parties all night)  
  
(One misty morning)  
  
Deku Tree: Shoo! (Blows Navi away)  
  
Navi: (Gets hit by the Fence) Curse my stupid fate.  
  
(Navi gets cursed)  
  
Navi: #$^! You!  
  
(Navi arrives at Link's house)  
  
Navi: What a mess! Ewwwww!!! What has he been drinking?  
  
(Link wakes up)  
  
Link: Uhhh... who are you?  
  
Navi: (Puff up her chest) I, Navi, am the most honored fairy for the Deku Tree.  
  
Link: Shut up.  
  
Navi: Never. You can't make me! I told you! I'm in the higher rank than you! I can do whatever I want to do with you!  
  
Link: SHUT UP! (Tears Navi's wings off)  
  
Navi: AHHH!!! @#$%! It's my cursed fate man!  
  
Link: Go away.  
  
Navi: Never! I'm following you till you find my wings back!  
  
Link: Fine then.  
  
(Wings fly out the window)  
  
(Meanwhile...)  
  
Ganondorf: Huh? (Grabs the wings) Yes! I got wings now! (Wins appear on Ganondorf's back)  
  
(Back to Link's scene)  
  
Link: Uhhhh... are we gonna sit here all day?  
  
Navi: I don't know. Let's go to the Deku tree.  
  
Link: Why should I?  
  
Navi: He is the most smartest thing I Hyrule.  
  
Link: Ok then. Hehehe...  
  
(at the outside of the tunnel)  
  
Mido: Sorry, Mr. No fairy! You can't pass through!  
  
Link: I got a fairy!  
  
Mido: That? Fairy has wings!  
  
Navi: It's my curse, man! I got cursed!  
  
Mido: Well, you can't still pass here 'cause you do't have a sword and a shield!  
  
Link: I do! (Show him a Master Sword and a Mirror Shield)  
  
Mido: How'd you get that?  
  
Link: There's a little thing called Gameshark.  
  
Mido: Really? Where do you go?  
  
Link: A game where there's a lot of sharks.  
  
Mido: Ok then. (Goes there and gets eaten)  
  
Link: That was easy. (Passes through Deku Babas easily) Hey! Tree! Give Navi her wing back so I ca rest in peace!  
  
Deku Tree: Go ad remove my curse.  
  
Navi: You got a curse too? What a coincidence!  
  
Deku Tree: Shut up!  
  
Navi: Never!  
  
Deku Tree: Fine then! (Barrage of rocks come in Navi's way)  
  
Navi: Argh! Fine! I hate my life!  
  
(Deku Tree opens)  
  
Link: hehehe...  
  
(Gets a longshot ad pulls up to the room and gets a Slingshot)  
  
Link: Nah. I want this!  
  
(Throw away the Slingshot, and gets himself a bow)  
  
Link: Yeah!  
  
(Link shoots the arrows, destroying everythi except himself and was about to shoot Navi when it was all out of ammos)  
  
Link: #^&@! Awell.  
  
(Realizes that he shot the ladder to much it can't be climbed.)  
  
Link: Oh, the hell. (Gets a log shot ad pulls himself to the other corner)  
  
Navi: WHAT ABOUT ME?  
  
Link: You suck.  
  
Navi: I CAN'T FLY!  
  
Link: Sucks to be you.  
  
Navi: @#%@!  
  
(On the Web hole)  
  
Link: Ahhh, if there wasn't gameshark, how would I live?  
  
(Gets a fire arrow and burns it)  
  
Link: YAY! Ahhhhhh. My fav cheat!  
  
(Link walks through walls)  
  
Navi: If you can cheat so much, why don't you find a cheat to get my wings?  
  
Link: (Seaches) Nope. There's no cheats for wings! And how did you get back here?  
  
Navi: I climbed.  
  
Link: @#$%!  
  
(Makes it to Gohma's room)  
  
Link: Hey, man.  
  
Gohma: Wassup?  
  
Link: I gotta find stupid wings for stupid fairy.  
  
Navi: I'M NOT STUPID!!  
  
Gohma: Yes, you are! (Eats her) Ehhhh... (Dies)  
  
Link: I'll miss you.  
  
Navi: I'm alive!  
  
Link: Shaddup!  
  
(Heart appears with a blue light)  
  
Link: (Grabs the Heart) Good enough?  
  
Navi: Nope.  
  
Link: BAH! (Throws it away)  
  
Navi: You'll need it!  
  
Link: No I won't! (Gets infinite Lives)  
  
Navi: @#$% you!  
  
(Link Get's out)  
  
Deku tree: What in the @#$% did you do? Did you kill the spider? That spider was my lifeline! You @#$%!  
  
Link: It wasn't me! It was her!  
  
Deku: @#$%! Navi, you killed me!  
  
Navi: My cursed fate.  
  
Deku Tree: Take this green stone and go to Zelda and she'll know what to do to get your wings!  
  
Link: Fine then. (Grabs emerald) Let's go!  
  
  
  
  
  
End chapter  
  
A/N: Well, how'd you all like it? Please, if you hated it, I'll remove it! But please, Review! It's my lifeline! 


	2. The adventure begins

Horribly, horrible terror on Hyrule  
  
A/N: Thank you! Thank you! I've had 1 review in less than 24 hours! It's a bit below average, but I will grow up on it! Anyways, on with the story!  
  
(Outside Deku Tree)  
  
(Mido appears)  
  
Mido: @#$%! You nearly killed me!  
  
Link: How'd you get out?  
  
Mido: I used a @#$%@# gameshark code too!  
  
Link: Do'h! I never should've told him the website!  
  
Mido: Anyways, what happened?  
  
Link: Navi killed the Deku Tree.  
  
Navi: I DID NOT! Well, not really.  
  
Mido: KILL THAT FAIRY!  
  
Kokoris: Get her!  
  
Know it all brothers: That stupid fairy killed the Deku Tree!  
  
Link: (Runs up to the top of the cliff and watches) Go the Kokoris!  
  
Popcorn Salesman: Hotdogs! Get your hotdogs!  
  
Link: Aren't you suppose to be a popcorn salesman?  
  
P.S: Ok! Wait...  
  
Hotdog Salesman: There! Better?  
  
Link: Yup! (Buys a Hotdog)  
  
(2 hours later)  
  
Navi: @#$%! There keep on at it!  
  
(Kokoris caught Navi)  
  
Navi: @#$%!  
  
(1 hour later, Kokoris still beating Navi up)  
  
Link: Wait, wait! I know how to settle this!  
  
Kokoris: How?  
  
Link: Plant a Deku seed!  
  
Kokoris: Then it'll grow into a Giant Deku Babas!  
  
Link: Well, then grow Deku Nuts!  
  
Kokoris: They'll grow into mad Deku Scrubs!  
  
Link: It's worth a try!  
  
Kokoris: Fine then.  
  
(Link leaves)  
  
Saria: You @#$%! You avoided me all along!  
  
Link: Gotta go! (Runs away)  
  
Saria: Stop! (Throws Ocarina)  
  
Link: (Gets hit) @#$%! (Grabs it)  
  
Saria: I'm sorry. (Hugs him)  
  
Link: You better be @#$%^.  
  
Saria: WHAT DID YOU SAY? (Throws barrages of Kokori swords)  
  
Link: AHHHH! (Runs away)  
  
(Hyrule field)  
  
Link: Hello.  
  
Kaepore Gaobora: Hello there. I'm Kaepora Gaobora. But hey, I love to chat, but people avoid me for some reason. Like, what did I ever do? It's not like I talk all day, see, I'm only talking for a minute now! People have no right to avoid me. Why do they don't just here me talk? Man, I talk about useful things, like I love the moon. Did you see the moon yesterday? It was blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah-  
  
Link: @#$%! (Runs away)  
  
Kaepora Gaobora: blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah-  
  
(Link arrives at Hyrule)  
  
Navi: Wait up! (Puffs)  
  
Link: Come on!  
  
Navi: It's not like I run all day!  
  
Link: Fine then.  
  
(Meets Malon)  
  
Link: Wassup?  
  
Malon: I'm waiting for my dad.  
  
Link: How long were you waiting?  
  
Malon: About 34 months.  
  
Link: O.O; I go get him.  
  
Malon: You'll need this. (Hands him a Cucco Egg)  
  
Link: Thanks. (Frys it and eats it) See ya!  
  
(Meets Talon)  
  
Link: Wake up!  
  
Talon: Zzzzzzzzzzz...  
  
Link: WAKE UP!  
  
Talon: Zzzzzzzzzz...  
  
Navi: I heard that in Sleeping Beauty-  
  
Link: I know! (Put Navi's mouth in Talon's mouth)  
  
Talon: HUH? What in @#$%?  
  
Link: Your daughter is waiting for you for 34 months.  
  
Talon: AHHHH!! Malon! I'm coming! (Run off)  
  
Link: Ewwwwww... The milk is outdated! Awwell.  
  
(Goes in the castle grounds)  
  
Guards: None shall pass.  
  
Link: Huh?  
  
Guards: None shall pass.  
  
Link: I have no quarrel against you, but I must cross this road!  
  
Guards: I move, for no man.  
  
Link: SO BE IT! (Grabs the spear and stabs him)  
  
Link: (Stabbing all the Guards) Come through. Excuse me. I'm in hurry.  
  
(Walks up to Zelda)  
  
Link: (Whistles) Hey, sexy looking gal. I have party in my house every Tuesday. Wanna join?  
  
Zelda: You the boy!  
  
Link: What boy? Pizza boy?  
  
Zelda: The boy in my dream!  
  
Link: I'm your hero eh?  
  
Zelda: Look at the window. (Sees Ganondorf)  
  
Zelda: He had wings suddenly after catching a fairy wing.  
  
Navi: @#$%! He got my wings!  
  
(Zelda Kicks her in the butt, and she was crashed into the window)  
  
Person: @#$%! Can't you see we're having some affair?  
  
Navi: O.O;  
  
Person: DIE! (Throws bombs)  
  
Navi: My cursed fate.  
  
Zelda: Anyways, here's a letter, go to Death Mountain, and a Goron might help you.  
  
Link: Fine then.  
  
Zelda: Impa, will guide you back-  
  
Link: No need. I killed all the guards.  
  
Zelda: Really? Then you can sped the night in the castle with me. Rrrrrrreeeeaawww. (Cat like-sound)  
  
Link: No thanks. (Runs)  
  
End Chapter  
  
A/N: Well, our hero is now setting off to the Death Mountain! Will he find help there? We'll see! Reviews, flames, I don't care. 


	3. The Horse clan

Horribly, horrible terror on Hyrule  
  
  
  
A/N: I do not own Zelda, Disclaimer, Milk and Worms Armageddon.  
  
(In Hyrule Field)  
  
Navi: ...Where do we go now?  
  
Link: I don't know. (Spots Lon Lon Ranch) Hey! Let's go there!  
  
(Arrives)  
  
Link: Hey! I see dead people!  
  
Navi: Where?  
  
Link: There! (Spots a guy mortally bleeding)  
  
Guy: @#$%! That @#$^#% horse stepped right through me!  
  
Link: What do you mean, through?  
  
(Guy shows his body where there is a large hole)  
  
Link: O.O;  
  
Guy: ... Can you give me some mariana?  
  
Link: But that's a drug!  
  
Guy: So?  
  
Link: You're dying!  
  
Guy: I'm not!  
  
Link: Well, you're mortally bleeding!  
  
Guy: I think I getting better.  
  
Link: @##%! Curse you author!  
  
(50t rocks squash him)  
  
Me: Don't curse me you stupid @#$^&.  
  
Link: Grrrrrrrr...  
  
Navi: HEY! LOOK! LISTEN!  
  
Link: Do you want me to take your voice box now?  
  
Navi: ... no.  
  
Link: Then shut up.  
  
Navi: ...ok.  
  
Link: YOU TALKED!! DIE!!!! (Takes the voice box away)  
  
Navi: (Thinking) My cursed fate.  
  
Link: Look! It's the Milk girl!  
  
Malon: It's better to call me Malon, Fairy boy.  
  
Link: @##$! I don't have a fairy!  
  
Navi: (Bites him)  
  
Link: Ah, @#$%! Fine! Call me Link.  
  
Malon: Ok.  
  
Link: Say, something's making me extremely horny. (Spots the horse) Well, anyways, can I ride that horse?  
  
Malon: Only if you marry me.  
  
Link: Fine then. (Crosses his finger)  
  
Malon: Mommy said I only have to teach this song to my husband.  
  
Link: Oh, so that guy who was mortally bleeding...  
  
Malon: Well, he was my boyfriend, but he was harassing me, so I told Epona to Kill him.  
  
Link: O.o;;;  
  
Malon: Anyways, here's the song.  
  
Link: HEYY!!!! EEPONNAA!!  
  
(A rabid horse comes to him)  
  
Malon: That's Eeponnaa.  
  
Link: @#$%! HEY! EPPOOONAA!  
  
(A really raid horse comes to him)  
  
Malon: That's Eppooonaa.  
  
Link: God dammit! Epona-HHHH!!  
  
(A rabid horse which got a bulging eye comes to him)  
  
Malon: That's Epona-HHHH.  
  
Link: Grrrrr..... EPONA!  
  
(A horse with crap covered comes to him)  
  
Malon: That's E.P.O.N.A. Extremely Pathetic Odor Neglected Ass.  
  
Link: @#$%#$ hell! Epona!  
  
(A red horse comes to him)  
  
Malon: That's Epona. Be careful!  
  
Link: AHHH!!! (Horse bursts into flames)  
  
Malon: Maybe I should get Epona for you.  
  
(Epona comes to Link)  
  
Malon: Be careful. She canbe aggressive.  
  
Link: Awwell.  
  
(While Link's talking, Navi takes the voice box)  
  
Navi: HEY! LOOK! LISTEN!  
  
Link:@#$%! I forgot bout her!  
  
Malon: Ahh!! (Punches her)  
  
Navi: She sure can punch for a girl.  
  
Link: I gotta go! See ya!  
  
Malon: Bye!  
  
Navi: Wait for me!  
  
Link: @#$% that Fairy! (Link puts her in a spare bottle)  
  
  
  
End chapter  
  
A/N: Zzzzzzzzzzzz.....  
  
Me: WAKE UP!  
  
A/N: Zzzzzz... Shut up.... 


	4. Link the Threat

Horribly horrible terror on Hyrule  
  
A/N: THIS is where worms Armageddon part comes. It was a mistake people!  
  
Random Reader: SHUT UP!  
  
A/N: YOU shut up! (Stabs him) ok, let's get on with it.  
  
  
  
(Hyrule Castle)  
  
Link: (Meets Zelda again) Ummmm... I came back cause I do know where to go.  
  
Zelda: %@#&! I told you where to go!  
  
Link: I TOLD YOU I FORGOT!  
  
Zelda: I'll tell you only if you marry me.  
  
Link: ... Sure. (Crosses fingers)  
  
Zelda: Go to Karkariko Village then to the Death Mountain.  
  
Link: Ok.  
  
(Hyrule Field)  
  
Link: We better hurry its night right now.  
  
Stalkid: Whoooooooooo!!!  
  
Link: ACK! Ahhh!  
  
Navi: BOO!  
  
Stalkid: ACK! AHHHHHH!!  
  
(Runs Away)  
  
Link: For once, you did the right thing.  
  
Navi: I always do!  
  
Link: (Unsheathes his sword and places it on her neck) now that was the wrong thing.  
  
Navi: Gulp.  
  
Link: Let's go, and not a Single sound unless these skeletons come.  
  
(Arrives)  
  
Guy next to the tree: People are @#$#^ disgusting. @#$%^& people are @#$%^& disgusting. Even you @#$%$% creatures are @#$%^& disgusting.  
  
Link: Navi, how old are you?  
  
Navi: 10.  
  
Link: Ok. Then. (Squeezes her ears so she couldn't listen)  
  
Navi: @#$%^ hell! You're ten too!  
  
Link: Oh my god! She learnt the word! (Squeezes it harder)  
  
Navi: AHHHHH!!!!!  
  
Guy next to the tree: What in the @#$% you @#$%^& people @#$%^& want?  
  
Link: Stop swearing.  
  
GNTTT: I can @#$%&# swear when I @#$%&^ want.  
  
Link: (Unsheathes his sword and places it on his neck) Really?  
  
GNTTT: ...no.  
  
Link: Well, shut up.  
  
GNTTT: Ok. I'll @#$%^# shut up.  
  
Link: (Slices his head) That's better.  
  
(Death Mountain Entrance)  
  
Guard: What business do you people want?  
  
Link: To climb up the Death Mountain.  
  
Guard: Wait till the morning.  
  
Link: Fine.  
  
(Link wanders around ad find a chicken)  
  
Link: What is he looking at?  
  
(Peers down and sees a bunch of Worms fighting)  
  
Worm #1: Attack!  
  
Worm #2: Owie!  
  
(Chicken Interferes and trying to eat them)  
  
Worm#1: AHH!! Retreat! Retreat!  
  
Worm#3: Men! I mean, Worms! Fire at will!  
  
(Chicken eat him)  
  
Worm#3: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!  
  
Worm#2: Attack! Attack! (Uses all attacks)  
  
Worm#1: @#$%! You missed all of them!  
  
Worm#2: Not this one! (Pulls out a holy grenade)  
  
Chicken: BBRRAAWWKKK!  
  
Worm#2: (Throws it)  
  
Worm#1: @#$^! You missed!  
  
Worm#2: Uh oh. (Gets eaten)  
  
Worm#1: I WILL GET RE-AHHHHHHHH (Gets eaten)  
  
Link: Hey, it dawn now.  
  
Navi: Let's go.  
  
Guard: HALT! Who goes there?  
  
Link: A person.  
  
Guard: You can't pass.  
  
Link: Stuff it.  
  
(Link unsheathes his sword the same time the Guard pulls out his spear)  
  
Link: I got permission.  
  
Guard: From who?  
  
Link: Zelda.  
  
Guard: I don't believe it.  
  
Link: I'll get you what you want.  
  
Guard: What do I need?  
  
Link: This. (Pulls out a Keaton Mask)  
  
Guard: FINE! (Gate opens)  
  
Link: let's go.  
  
Navi: Where'd you get that mask?  
  
Link: The GS.  
  
Navi: Shoulda figures.  
  
(Goron City)  
  
Link: Wow.  
  
Goron: Hey, do you like feasts?  
  
Link: DO I EVER!  
  
Goron: Then come with me.  
  
(A party starts in the lava room)  
  
Link: ... why do you eat rocks?  
  
Goron: You don't eat rocks?  
  
Link: I eat leaves. And sometimes drink beer on Tuesday.  
  
Goron: Today IS Tuesday.  
  
Link: Really? (Drinks Beer) ;hick; that's better.  
  
Goron: Well, if you don't like rocks, why are you here?  
  
Link: Zelda ;hick; told me that ;hick; some Goron ;hick; knows where ;hick; Navi's wing ;hick; is.  
  
Goron: Well, I don't know. Why don't you check Darunia? He's our leader.  
  
Link: Fine.  
  
(Arrives at Darunia's Room)  
  
Darunia: What in the hell do you want?  
  
Link: I want to ;hick; know where Navi's Wing is.  
  
Darunia: I have enough work to do so get lost.  
  
Link: (Unsheathes his sword and places it on Darunia's neck) Really?  
  
Darunia: Yup.  
  
Link: (Trying to cut Darunia's neck) @#$%! I can't cut his neck!  
  
Darunia: I'm hard as a rock.  
  
Link: Really? (Places a Iron Mallet on his head)  
  
Darunia: What are you doing?  
  
Link: Help me or you'll face the consequence.  
  
Darunia: What is the consequence?  
  
(Link finds a boulder and smashes it with the mallet)  
  
Darunia: Gulp.  
  
Link: Well?  
  
Darunia: Only if you help me.  
  
Link: Fine. What?  
  
Darunia: We need more rocks to feed ourselves.  
  
Link: There's rocks everywhere!  
  
Darunia: THAT? That's just cement to us! In the Dondogo's cave, there's a rock sirloin there. It's priceless! It's race! It's delicious! It's incredible!  
  
Link: Why don't you go there?  
  
Darunia: It's @#$%^% blocked.  
  
Link: Oh, okay.  
  
Darunia: You need to kill the Dondogos.  
  
Link: Fine.  
  
Darunia: You'll need this.  
  
(Hands him a golden bracelet)  
  
Link: Ok. I'm going to Las Vegas!  
  
Me: No, you're going o Dondogos Cavern!  
  
Link: Fine. I'm going to Dondogos Cavern.  
  
End Chapter  
  
A/n: ZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzz......  
  
Me: WAKE UP!  
  
A/n: Zzzzzzzz... shut up....  
  
Me: THAT'S IT! (Gets a stun gun and stuns the A/n private)  
  
A/n: AAAAAAAHHHH!!!  
  
Me: WAKE UP!  
  
A/n: Fine! Review, and have a good day. 


	5. Sun is bright, ohhhhh Baby!

Horribly, horrible terror on Hyrule  
  
A/N: Zzzzzzzzzzzz...  
  
Me: WAKE UP!  
  
A/N: Zzzzzzzzzzzz... Get lost...  
  
Me: Fine.We'll have a replacement.  
  
Narrator: Hellllllllooowwwwww. My name ze Narrator. Zo zorry for ze accent, but oi came from france. Nowwwwww, on wiz ze ztory.  
  
  
  
Link: How do we remove that boulder?  
  
Navi: You askin' me?  
  
Link: I know!  
  
Navi: What?  
  
Link: I'll have to go down to the village.  
  
(Karkariko Village)  
  
Link: hello, Mr. builder.  
  
Builder: Get lost kid.  
  
Link: Can you help me pllleeeeaaasse?  
  
Builder: I said GET LOST!  
  
Link: I'll pay you.  
  
Builder: How much?  
  
(Link pulls out a bag full of red rupees)  
  
Builder: Wallow~! Fine!  
  
Link: Ok! How long will it take?  
  
Builder: 2 days.  
  
Link: Aww man!  
  
(Link waits)  
  
Link: Let's go down the cemetery.  
  
Navi: Whatever you say partner.  
  
(Link pulls out his sword)  
  
Navi: I mean, master.  
  
(Cemetery)  
  
Link: Why don't we hack some graves?  
  
Navi: I don't think that's a good idea.  
  
Link: Go to hell. I am.  
  
Navi: Fine.  
  
Link: (Hacks away the royal grave) Wow! I bet there's heaps of treasures and artifacts just like Egypt!  
  
(Grave)  
  
Link: AHHH!! Undeads!  
  
Redeads: It's Redeads, you idiot.  
  
Link: Don't eat me! Eat her! (Points to Navi)  
  
Navi: Huh?  
  
Redead: Hmmm... I was looking for something bubbly...  
  
Navi: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!  
  
Redead: Ack! My ears!  
  
Link: @#$%^& hell!  
  
Navi: Are you gona eat me now?  
  
Redead: I lost my appetite. (Dies)  
  
Link: I don't know how Redead can be dead.  
  
(Insert laughter)  
  
Me: WHO WAS THAT?  
  
Tweety: I taut I taw a putty tat!  
  
Me: Wrong fic.  
  
Tweety: I know tat.  
  
(Disappears)  
  
Me: Anyway, WHO WAS THAT?  
  
Random Audience: I was meeeeeeee!!  
  
Me: You are soooo dead. (50t rock squash him) Back to the story.  
  
Link: What's this?  
  
(Checks a sign on the wall)  
  
Link: This ain't no @#$%^& treasure! This is just a melody crap!  
  
(Plays it)  
  
Link: Hey, I think this is good!  
  
(Cemetery)  
  
Link: Good God! It's night already!  
  
Navi: Link, play that song again.  
  
Link: I knew that so shut up.  
  
(Plays it again)  
  
Link: It's morning!  
  
(Plays it again)  
  
Link: It's night!  
  
(Plays it again)  
  
Link: It's morning!  
  
Navi: The boulder might be removed now.  
  
Link: I knew that!  
  
Navi: Is there something you don't know?  
  
Link: (Pulls out his sword and places it on Navi's neck) I don't know why I kept you alive.  
  
Navi: Gulp.  
  
Link: Make a sound, you're dead.  
  
(Navi nods)  
  
(Death Mountain)  
  
Link: Builder! Done yet?  
  
Builder: I'm done!  
  
(Makes a grand entrance with the boulder still blocking)  
  
Link: @#$%! I told you to destroy the boulder!  
  
Builder: No, you didn't.  
  
Link: Crap. Now what am I gonna do?  
  
Navi: (Sign Language) Go to Darunia.  
  
Link: YOU TALKED! DIE!  
  
Navi: IT'S A SIGN LANGUAGE, YOU IDIOT!  
  
Link: YOU TALKED AGAIN! DIE!  
  
Navi: STOP THE SHIFTING!!  
  
Me: I CAN'T! MY HAND IS STUCK!  
  
Navi: !@#$!  
  
(Me rips hand)  
  
Me: Crap. Awell.  
  
Link: (About to kill Navi) Say your prayer!  
  
Navi: You can't read without me!  
  
Link: That's true...  
  
Navi: I read all those stuff for you! Even your porno!  
  
Link: You had your luck missy.  
  
Navi: THANK YOU!  
  
Link: On with this story.  
  
(Link blows the boulder up with a bomb flower)  
  
Link: Mama mia!  
  
(Dondogos run out)  
  
King Dondogo: THANK YOU! We've been stuck there for ages!  
  
Link: No prob.  
  
King Dondogo: I don't know what to do...  
  
Navi: Ahhh!!! (One of the Dondogos threw Navi right into King Dondogo's mouth)  
  
King Dondogo: Avenge me.... brave warrior... (Dies)  
  
Navi: I'm alive!  
  
Link: @#$%!  
  
Darunia: WHAT! The fairy killed the almighty king Dondogo? Kill HER!  
  
Navi: AHHH!!! (All the Dondogos and Gorons chase her)  
  
Darunia: Brave Warrior, I present you the Ruby, and the free Coupon to the Deku- plaza Academy.  
  
Link: COOL! Now I can kill Navi! (Chases after her)  
  
End Chapter  
  
A/N: Shove over.  
  
Narrator: Zo zorry. But you zee, I'm doing thiz chapter now.  
  
A/N: Why don't you PISS OFF? (Kicks him)  
  
Narrator: Owie!  
  
A/N: See you peoples! 


	6. bacteria rules one, and one rules the wo...

Horribly, horrible terror  
  
A/N: Well, I haven't been updating much, school, Hoework and Gamecube, but hey! I updated! I should feel privileged! I don't own Zelda!  
  
Chapter 5: Bacteria rules one, and one rules the world... not quite.  
  
Link: Let's get her!  
  
Navi: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!  
  
Goron: Die! (throws bombs)  
  
Navi: AHHHH!!!!  
  
Dondogo: Wait... this isn't right.  
  
Goron: Why not?  
  
Dondogo: Because... BOMBS ARE WEAK! WE MUST USE DYNAMITES!  
  
Goron: YEAH!  
  
Navi: NOOOO!!!!!!! ;cough;  
  
Goron: ACK!  
  
Dondogo: OH NO! THE DEADLY BACTERIA FROM THE KOKORIS!!! THE FLEWWWWWW!!!!  
  
Navi: YAY! I killed them all!  
  
Link: (Pulls out sword) Not quite.  
  
Navi: Gulp. HAVE MERCY!!! YOU TEARED UP MY WINGS! YOU CURSED ME! NOW YOU'RE TRYING TO KILL ME? I'LL RATHER BE OFF DEAD!  
  
Link: Okay, then.  
  
Navi: (Reading what she said) Oh crap. HAVE MERCYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Link: (Acting as Frodo in Lord of the Rings) I pity you. But if you do anything suspicious, I shall slay you.  
  
Navi: (Acting as Smeagol) Navi can't be thankful enough! Nice kokori, good Kokori, good Navi will obey nice master!  
  
Link: okay. THIS is annoying. We are not medival peoples.  
  
Me: Fine then.  
  
(Zora River)  
  
Link: Crap. There's that owl again. But why is its tied up?  
  
Kaepora Geobora: Thank god you're here! I was caught eating fish here, ya know, and like, these fags, like, tied me up, and like, I haven't eaten since 2 minutes ago, and like I'm really hungry again? And, you know, that these fags, like they were trying to, like, eat me and like I was, like, so, like, angry, and like, you know, the king, like, he was, like, trying to sacrifice me, like, because I ,like, talk to much, and Like, he said, like, I say too much, like, like-  
  
Link: ;rolls eyes;  
  
Navi: You suck.  
  
Kaepora Geobora: We'll, like, see, like, bout that. (Slaps Navi with its wings and Navi is thrown off the river)  
  
Navi: ACK! I CAN'T SWIM!  
  
Link: Yay!  
  
Navi: HELP!  
  
Farore: I shall help a fairy in need. (Uses the wind to save Navi)  
  
Navi: THANK YOU!  
  
Link: Why'd you help her?  
  
Farore: Cause in my contract, I have to save a fairy in need.  
  
Link: @##$ That!  
  
Farore: Well, the force be with you.  
  
Link: What, ever.  
  
Link: OOOOOOooooo! Weird looking frogs. Maybe I should use my ocarina. (Blows a high note)  
  
Frogs: BRRROOAAAKK!  
  
Link: (Higher note)  
  
Frogs: BBBBRRROOOOAAAAKKKK!!  
  
Link: (REALLY high note)  
  
Frogs: BBBBBBBOOOOAAAAAAAAKKKK!!! (Blows up)  
  
Link: Errrrrr... it wasn't me.  
  
Navi: I saw you kissing on the sofa,  
  
Link: It wasn't me.  
  
Navi: I saw you looking at me in the shower.  
  
Link: It wasn't me. HEY! I REALLY DIDN'T!  
  
Navi: Sure you didn't.  
  
Link: Anyways, who made that song?  
  
Me: Shaggy.  
  
Link: OOOOOooooooooOOOOOO. I'll buy an album.  
  
Me: Sure. You can have mine. (Gives it) And now, on with the story!  
  
Link: Yeah. Uh-oh. Let's just walk past, and imagine nothing happened.  
  
Navi: Good idea.  
  
(In Zora's Domain)  
  
Link: AHHHHH!! MY EYES!  
  
Navi: What?  
  
Link: I see naked man.  
  
Navi: ;rolls eyes;  
  
Link: I must get away!  
  
(The throne)  
  
Link: Hey, tubblewat.  
  
King Zora: Hey, man.  
  
Link: Have you seen a blue stone? It's a bit stained with gold, too.  
  
King Zora: I think Ruto has it.  
  
Link: Where is she?  
  
King Zora: She's feeding Lord Jabu Jabu. Go there. And I think his REALLY hungry. I haven't seen Ruto for 7 years! I think she really like that fish. It's her first time.  
  
Link: Is it a coincidence that she got EATEN by the fish?  
  
King Zora: Hmmmm... never thought of that. Awwell. Go check it out, will ya?  
  
Link: Fine.  
  
(Lord Jabu Jabu)  
  
Link: Open up.  
  
Jabu Jabu: Huh?  
  
Link: Open up!  
  
(Lord Jabu Jabu opens his mouth)  
  
Link: Cough in there, Navi.  
  
Navi: Okie Dokie. ;coughs;  
  
Jabu Jabu: ACK! AHHHH!! (Dies)  
  
Navi: How come that killed him?  
  
Link: ;shrugs;  
  
(Ruto comes out)  
  
Link: AHHHHH!!! My eyes are soiled!  
  
Ruto: Someone... has... killed... the... archard... it was... the lord's... liver...  
  
Link: Errrrrrr... It wasn't me.  
  
Navi: Oh, crap.  
  
King Zora: WHAT HAPPENED?  
  
Link: The fairy killed your daughter.  
  
King Zora: KILL HER!!  
  
Navi: AHHHHH!!! (All the Zora's go after her)  
  
Link: Well, I didn't see the blue stone.  
  
Ruto: Eehhhhhhhhhh... (Dies, and then drops the Sapphire)  
  
King Zora: I think this is what you needed.  
  
Link: THANK YOU! (Heads out, and then runs to the Hyrule Castle)  
  
Navi: WHAT ABOUT MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE???  
  
Link: YOU SUCK!  
  
Navi: HELPPPPP!!!!!  
  
Farore: HEY! THIS IS LAST TIME FOR TODAY, GOT IT?  
  
Navi: HELP!  
  
Farore: You didn't say the magic word!  
  
Navi: Firtifucitforshrit!  
  
Farore: YOU SWORE! THAT'TS IT! I'M NOT HELPING YOU!  
  
Navi: AHHHHHHHHH!!!!!  
  
The End 


	7. 7years older

Horribly, horrible terror on Hyrule  
  
A/N: Hello. I'm outta speech, so I don't own Zelda.  
  
Chapter 7: 7years later  
  
Link: Yay! I got all the stones! Now I can finally find Navi's wings! Navi?  
  
;Meanwhile;  
  
Navi: AHHH!!! (Runs up to Deatrh Mountain)  
  
Zoras: After her!  
  
Zora #1: I can't! It's too hot!  
  
Zora #2: Nigel! It's just a stupid Meteor shower!  
  
Nigel: But we are weak against Meteor shower! Bob!  
  
Bob: Oh, crap.  
  
Navi: YAY! I killed them all! Now to find Link! Oh, crap. (A giant Meteor falls on her) I can fly!  
  
Random Persaon: I can siiinnnnggg!!!  
  
Navi: I can glide?  
  
R.P: I can Sinng!  
  
Navi: Shut up!  
  
R.P: Fine. (Walks away)  
  
;Link;  
  
Link: It's a beaaaauuutttiful day today, I wander what I'll do, after I get Navi's wings.  
  
;Link's thoughts'  
  
#1: Pary all night  
  
#2: Eat pork chops  
  
#3: Go to the beach  
  
#4: HEY! LOOK! LISTEN!  
  
Link: AHH!!!  
  
Navi: Wassup!  
  
Link: DIE! (Throws bombs)  
  
Navi: AHH!!  
  
Link: Huh? The weather turning foggy, more humidity coming, foamed vapours, dropping, electro-magentic field high, @#$%! It's rain! What? Why is the door closed? Isn't it open till 9:00?  
  
;Zelda comes out;  
  
Zelda: GET HIM! GET HIM!  
  
Ganondorf: Hahaha! No one can get me This high!  
  
(Link uses his bow)  
  
Ganondorf: AHH!! EVIL! YOU ARE EVIL! YOU MUST DIE! ;Throws magic balls;  
  
Link: OW!  
  
Ganondorf: See ya!  
  
Zelda: Get him! ;Runs after him, dropping the ocarina;  
  
Link: This looks cooler than what Saria threw to me.  
  
(The fairy ocarina was untouched and mould started creeping out)  
  
Link: Mamamia! ;Throw it away;  
  
Navi: HEY! LOOK! LISTEN!  
  
Link: Where on earth did you get that quote?  
  
Navi: Random fics.  
  
Link: Oh. Okay. Where do we go now?  
  
Navi: Play Saria's song.  
  
Link: #$%^! I don't have that yet!  
  
Navi: Let's go to Saria then.  
  
Link: Fine.  
  
;In Kokori Forest;  
  
Link: What in the hell?  
  
Kokori: Hi, Link.  
  
Link: Hey, Jack.  
  
Jack: We planted some Deku Nuts near Deku Tree, but Mido wanted us to plant it everywhere so it will give us protection.  
  
Link: Yeah, yeah. Have you seen Saria?  
  
Jack: No, why?  
  
Link: I don't know where to go.  
  
Jack: You have to go to the temple of time.  
  
Link: How'd you know?  
  
Jack: By this. ;Nintendo Guide for all Lame and Stupid Gamers;  
  
Link: WOW! There's a Master Quest for me?  
  
Jack: Yup.  
  
Link: I better check it out soon!  
  
Jack: Yeah. Aren't you meant to go now?  
  
Link: Oh, yeah. I forgot about her.  
  
Navi: 23 bottles of beer on the wall, 23 bottles of beer, take one down, pass it around, 22 bottles of beer.  
  
Link: Let's go!  
  
Navi: Lalala...  
  
Link: Fine. Today's Tuesday. It's party night!  
  
Jack: YEAH!  
  
(Parties all night)  
  
Link: I better go now.  
  
Navi: Zzzzzzzz...  
  
Link: WAKE UP!  
  
Navi: ACK! I'M UP!  
  
Link: Let's go to temple of Time!  
  
;Temple of Time;  
  
Link: Where's the music coming from?  
  
Navi: Dunno.  
  
Link: I need to open that gate.  
  
Navi: Duh.  
  
Link: I need my ... dundundun... BUFFALO!!  
  
(Buffalo comes in breaking everything which also include Navi's lightbulb)  
  
Link: ...  
  
Navi: I know. I'm cursed. I'm ugly. I'm hungry. I'm cold. I'm stupid. I got F on English. I got D- on Maths. Hey, I got A- on science!  
  
Link: Nerd.  
  
Navi: Am not.  
  
Link: Dork.  
  
Navi: Am not!  
  
Link: Fairy.  
  
Navi: Am not!  
  
Link: O.o?  
  
Navi: I meant Am too!  
  
Link: Whatever.  
  
;On the altar;  
  
Link: I already got a master sword!  
  
Navi: Do you want to see the fuure?  
  
Link: Fine... (Pulls sword out)  
  
;Aladdin theme;  
  
Take a journey, to the desert, where the wind will take you there,  
  
For it is late, in the past, to see the Giant time!  
  
I just saw a cat, biting a dog, and a mouse, eating fish,  
  
The world is never so trueeee!!!!  
  
Birds eating, a snake's eye, is that true?  
  
Or am I just an idiot, I'm too stupid to realise  
  
The Trrrrruuuuuttttthhhhhh!!!!!!!!!  
  
Link: Ahhhhhhh.... Man! I had a nightmare! First, I dreamt that a fairy named Navi was pissing me off for her wings, and a stupid song which isn't at all about future!  
  
Navi: HEY! LOOK LISTEN!  
  
Link: Crap. ;Faints;  
  
Rauru: Wake up, man.  
  
Link: Hmmm? A fat man! ;faints;  
  
Rauru: Wake up, man.  
  
Link: Uhhh, crap. A fat man. ;faints;  
  
Rauru: WAKE UP!  
  
Link: I'm up! I'm up! Don't EXPEL ME!  
  
Rauru: You are chosen.  
  
Link: Ya?  
  
Rauru: To sve the world.  
  
Link: Been there, done that. I saved Hyrule for let's see. 4 times?  
  
Rauru: But if you win, you'll win a Party set!  
  
Link: REALLY?  
  
Rauru: Yup.  
  
Link: Ok! I'm in!  
  
End Chapter  
  
A/n: Sorry to take so long, but I was busy. So I made it long. 


	8. Kokoris are idiots, stupid morons and a ...

Horribly, horrible terror on Hyrule  
  
A/n: Hello! I need to make an annocement. Ahem, the Author told me.... What? Still on about that stupid toaster? Oh man! Anyways, I do not own Zelda!  
  
Me: What about the toaster?  
  
A/n: SCREW IT!  
  
Me: Never!  
  
A/n: (Hits Author's head with a frying pan) Ok. Now the fic.  
  
Chapter 8: Kokori's are an idiots, and stupid morons with a little of Insanity.  
  
Link:  
  
I'm off to win that Party!  
  
That wonderful party set of Time!  
  
I'm off to win that Thing!  
  
Because! Because! Because! Because!  
  
Navi: What about my wings?  
  
Link: @#$%! I totally forgot about it!  
  
(Shiek appears)  
  
Link: @#$%! Hiiiiiiiiiiiyyaaa!!! (Does these mystical Kung Fu poses)  
  
Shiek: YO! WASSUP!  
  
Link: Wha?  
  
Shiek: WASSUP! ME FELLOW JAPES! WASSUP!  
  
Link: Uhhhhh.... How many fingers am I holding? (Shakes 3 fingers)  
  
ShiekL: 3! These stupid questions piss me off sooooooooo much.  
  
Link: Nah. I'm holding 10! Duh!  
  
Shiek: Shut up. You ruined my entrance, and now your pissing me off!  
  
Link: Go to hell.  
  
Shiek: Nah.  
  
Link: Okay. Then. What do you what?  
  
Shiek: I'm here to help you save he world.  
  
Link: D'oh! I forgot that!  
  
Shiek: Anyways, first, you gotta find a Hookshot.  
  
Link: I got that.  
  
Shiek: Oh. How did you get that?  
  
Link: By using gameshark.  
  
Shiek: Really? Where do you go?  
  
Link: A game where there's a lot of sharks.  
  
Shiek: Cool! (Goes there and gets eaten) AH! #$%@#$%%#$@!  
  
Link: MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Navi: Okay.... (Backs away quietly)  
  
Link: What are you doing?  
  
Navi: I don't know.  
  
Link: Okay. Let's get outta here!  
  
(Hyrule Market)  
  
Redead: Cause I'm the real slim shady! Yes I'm the real slim shady! Oh you want the real slim shady, just til one lil moment, so you want the real slim shady, please stand up, please stand up, please stand , please stand up.  
  
Link: Wick! I bet you don't know this one!  
  
This looks Like on top of me! So everybody, just follow me! We need a lil' controversy! Cause it feels so empty without me!  
  
Redead: Oh! MAN! That's INSULT!  
  
Link: O.o'  
  
Redead: I'm outta here! Later, BOZOS!  
  
Link: Look whose insulting now!  
  
Navi: ;Bites him on the leg;  
  
Link: Fine! We are off to Kokori forest!  
  
(Kokori Forest)  
  
Link: Crap. What happened here? I'm outta here!  
  
(Hyrule Market)  
  
Link: Now what?  
  
Navi: Check out that castle!  
  
Link: Cool!  
  
(Gannon's Fortress)  
  
Link: It's castle.  
  
Me: Is not.  
  
Link: It's castle.  
  
Me: Is not.  
  
Link: It's castle.  
  
Me: Is not.  
  
Link: It's castle.  
  
Me: Is not.  
  
Link: It's castle.  
  
Me: Is not.  
  
Link: It's castle.  
  
Me: Is not.  
  
Link: It's castle.  
  
Me: Is not.  
  
Link: It's castle.  
  
Me: Is not.  
  
Link: It's castle.  
  
Me: Is not.  
  
Link: It's castle.  
  
Me: Is not.  
  
Link: FINE! It's a fortress!  
  
Navi: HEY! LOOK! LISTEN!  
  
Link: SAY THAT OE MORE TIME AND I'LL KILL YOU!  
  
Navi: ;Gulp; Look?  
  
Link: What?  
  
Navi: There's a grave!  
  
Link: Yay! It's that annoying owls grave!  
  
Navi: It's says, 'died 300-670. Last quote, 'Like, that stupid Ganon's like, so, like, annoying!' LOOK! There's a bright side!  
  
(50t rock drop on her)  
  
Navi: I'm ok!  
  
(100t rock drop on her)  
  
Navi: I'm alright!  
  
(150t rock drop on her)  
  
Navi: Crap.  
  
Link: Yay!  
  
Navi: I'm alive!  
  
Link: D'oh!  
  
Navi: What do we do now?  
  
Link: Have no fear! Link is here! ;Looks at 'Nintendo Guide for all Lame and Stupid gamers'  
  
Navi: Where EARTH did you get that?  
  
Link: Jack gave it to me.  
  
Navi: Ohhhhh...  
  
Link: Darn... I have to go back to the Forest....  
  
(kokori Forest)  
  
Link: OH! The insanity!  
  
(Passes through the Deku Babas and Scrubs)  
  
(Lost Woods)  
  
Link: Hey, Mido!  
  
Mido: Anonymous Person! Yo have entered the sacred position of the unit 34- 2d3! You must retreat immediately or the general shall be informed!  
  
Link: Who is he?  
  
Mido: Negastive! I must not let you enter his realm until we hear the code!  
  
Link: What code?  
  
Mido: The Code!  
  
Link: ;searches through the web; it's 3442563256255.  
  
Mido: Affirmative! Enter and make sure to tuck that shirt in!  
  
Link: I did!  
  
Mido: Negative! You shall die! (Get's a Rocket Launcher)  
  
Link: Mamamia! (Holds Navi for protection)  
  
Navi: What the!  
  
Mido: Target sighted! Fire at the coordinated 34-2d3! 3...2...1... Launch!  
  
Navi: AHHHHH!  
  
Mido: I killed the Fairy. Mission Successful. (Walks away)  
  
Navi: I'm alive!  
  
Link: Do'h!  
  
Mido: What was that?  
  
Navi: ERK! (Pretends to die)  
  
(Sacred Forest Meadow)  
  
Link: Hi.  
  
Moblin: I must kill you as the order of the general.  
  
Link: You know what? I saw your mama somewtime ago, and boy the only car she'll fit in is a space shuttle!  
  
Moblin: Don't... insult... mommy! WAHHHHHH!!! (runs away)  
  
Link: It always works.  
  
(General Moblin)  
  
General: So passed my minions eh?  
  
Link: Uhhhhhhh.... No?  
  
General: Oh! Ok! You can pass.  
  
Link: Cool!  
  
(Shoots an arrow while he's not looking)  
  
General: I will avenge you!  
  
Link: How?  
  
General: ... good point.  
  
Link: Yay!  
  
(Arrives at the platform)  
  
Shiek: YOU EVIL B@$T@RD$!  
  
Link: $h!t.  
  
A/n: P.S: I don't exactly know the real slim shady so don't say I got the lyrics wrong. 


	9. Does he believe in Muslim?

Horribly, horrible Terror on Hyrule  
  
A/n: Hello!  
  
Me: I do not own anything!  
  
Me: Oh, I'm sick of saying me, so I'll call myself the 'Interuptor.'  
  
Chapter 9: Does he believe in Muslim?  
  
Link: How'd you get out?  
  
(Shows off his moves on Super Smash Bros. Melee)  
  
Link: Ah, I see.  
  
Shiek: You gotta learn this song.  
  
Link: Ok.  
  
Shiek: Ok. GRRRRRIIIZZZZZYYYY!!!!  
  
Link: GRRRRIIIZZZZZYYYY!!!!  
  
(Grizzly Bear appears ou of Thin air.)  
  
Link: @#%$!  
  
(Kills it)  
  
Link: Ok. I get the picture. I'm just gonna go in.  
  
Navi: How?  
  
Link: Where there's a will, there's a way.  
  
Navi: Crap.  
  
(Link ties Navi with 20kg rock up with rope ad then tied him up, and threw Navi)  
  
Navi: AHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!  
  
Link: This is fun! WEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!  
  
(Navi gets hit by the wall of Temple)  
  
Link: Ahhhh.... Perfect Landing!  
  
Navi: Owie....  
  
Shiek: You could've used the Hookshot you know....  
  
Link: SCREW IT!  
  
Shiek: Fine, Avios, Amigos! (Disappears)  
  
(Forest Temple)  
  
Red Poe: (Indian Accent) Halt! You do not pass the sacred thing whatchamacallit... Statue!  
  
Purple Poe: (Also Indian Accent) First you gotta take your shoes off and eat nothing for 3 years!  
  
Link: Ok. (Takes his shoes off)  
  
Green Poe: ACK! THE SMELL! IT SMELLS LIKE @#$%!  
  
Red Poe: Put the shoes on! Put the shoes on!  
  
Link: Fine!  
  
Blue Poe: Okay. You gotta answer this question. How many feet do I have?  
  
Link: What? I don't know!  
  
Blue Poe: YOU SUCK! BEGONE!  
  
Link: AHHHH!!! (Falls down to the Bosses Room)  
  
Purple Poe: YOU IDIOT! WHY'D YOU SENT HIM THERE?  
  
Blue Poe: Crap.  
  
(Not actually bosses room, it's that pushing room)  
  
Link: WOW! (Grabs Golden Artefact) It has 9 arms!  
  
Navi: That's not possible?  
  
Link: Shut UP! (Throws a frying pan)  
  
Navi: MAMAMIA!  
  
Din: NO! (Uses fire to protect Navi)  
  
Link: MAN! I'm really sick of you goddesses trying to protect that @#$%^!  
  
Navi: Who're you calling a @#$%^, @#$%^?  
  
Link: I'm calling you a @#$%#, #@$%@!  
  
(Random Dog comes out saying,' I'm a @#$%^, you're a @#$%#! These human saying they're @#$%#$, they'll know the true power of the @#$%#! MWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!)  
  
Din: STOP! (Burns Navi)  
  
Link: Yay!  
  
Din: Crap. Gotta go!  
  
Navi: I'm alive!  
  
Link: Come on Kimmo! Make her Die!  
  
Interuptor: No.  
  
Link: Please?  
  
Interuptor: No.  
  
Link: Come on! You hate it too when she says 'HEY! LOOK! LISTEN!'  
  
Interuptor: You got a point but no.  
  
Link: Darn....  
  
(BOSS Room)  
  
Phantom Ganon: (Indian Accent) You are trespassing the sacred area of the guru.  
  
Link: Guru of what?  
  
Phantom Ganon: The Guru of Everything.  
  
Link: Cool!  
  
Phantom Ganon: Cool now old fashioned. Now you say, 'That's nice!'  
  
Link: O.o?  
  
Phantom Ganon: What?  
  
Link: Man, you are so totally weird.  
  
Phantom Ganon: Now you sound like that flying @#$%^&*.  
  
Link: Oh my god! I am!  
  
Navi: HEY! LOOK! LISTEN!  
  
Phantom Ganon: OH MY GOD! YOU SPOKE THE FORBIDDEN QUOTE! ACK! (Dies)  
  
Saria: Who killed the guru?  
  
Link: (Points at Navi)  
  
Navi: Curse my stupid fate.  
  
Saria: Get her!  
  
Navi: MAMAMIA!  
  
Din: You're still alive? GOD! (Throws fireball at her)  
  
Navi: AHHH!!! (Jumps in water,)  
  
Din: YES! The plan worked!  
  
Navi: ;Thinking; @#$%! I forgot I can't fly!  
  
(Meanwhile)  
  
Link: GIMME THE MEDALLION!  
  
Saria: NO!  
  
Link: GIMME!  
  
Saria: NO!  
  
Link: GIMME!  
  
Saria: NO!  
  
Link: GIMME!  
  
Saria: NO!  
  
Link: GIMME!  
  
Saria: NO!  
  
Link: GIMME!  
  
Saria: NO!  
  
Link: GIMME!  
  
Saria: NO!  
  
Link: GIMME!  
  
Saria: Fine!  
  
(Throws Green Medallion at Link)  
  
Link: Awwwwww.... I really got to go to chiropractor....  
  
The End  
  
POLLS!  
  
A/n: I thought there was no polls.  
  
Me: I like it. So @#$% it and @#$% you too.  
  
A/n: But Kimmo, what if you win, wouldn't it be weird?  
  
Me: Why? So you lie to get me here, and sit next to Navi the Fairy?  
  
A/n: Ok. I think That's enough.  
  
Me: GET YOURSELF EMINEM SHOW TODAY!  
  
A/n: It's a poll idiot!  
  
Me: I knew that!  
  
Ok. Here it is!  
  
How many of you saw Indiana Jones?  
  
I DID!  
  
I DIDN'T!  
  
WHAT THE HELL IS THAT?  
  
I HATE IT!  
  
I don't care.  
  
Ok. Another one.  
  
Do you think Navi should get her wings back?  
  
YES!  
  
OH, GOD! NO!  
  
I don't care. 


	10. Volcano Everest

Horribly, horrible terror on Hyrule  
  
A/n: Man, me updated the story pretty quick.  
  
Me: Yeah, so?  
  
A/n: Nothing. I own Zelda!  
  
Shiguru Miyamoto: WHAT? I sue you?  
  
A/n: @#$%! I meant to say I DO NOT own Zelda!  
  
Shiguru Miyamoto: Gimme $3000000!  
  
A/n: BUT THAT 'S MY MONTH'S SALARY!  
  
Me: Shut up about me giving you $3000000!  
  
Link: WHAT? You only give us $2000!  
  
Me: DO'H!  
Chapter 10: Volcano Everest  
  
Navi: Help me!  
  
Farore: No.  
  
Navi: Please?  
  
Farore: Fine.  
  
Link: Darn....  
  
Navi: I'm alive!  
  
Link: No, you're not. You're just pretending to be alive.  
  
Navi: How can you?  
  
Link: Don't ask me. Ask god since you killed the guru.  
  
Saria: WHAT? Get her!  
  
Navi: AHHHHHHHH!!!!  
  
Link: Yay! That's gone, now to go to ummmm.... (Checks his 'Guide for all stupid and lousy Gamers') DEATH MOUNTAIN!!!  
  
(Goron City)  
  
Link: Wow. It's empty!  
  
Link: WATCH OUT!  
  
Link: What the?  
  
(Link smashes into Link)  
  
Link: Owww...  
  
Link: This is confusing.  
  
Link: I'll say.  
  
Link: Why can't the author just call you Goron Link?  
  
Link: Ok. AUTHOR! DID YOU HEAR THAT?  
  
Interuptor: Yeah. Fine. Ok. Ummmmm...  
  
Goron Link: Ok.Where's the Death Moiuntain?  
  
Link: You need to wear this. (Hands him a Goron Tunic)  
  
Link: YOU MADE IT WRONG!  
  
G.L: YEAH! I WANT MY PARTY SET!  
  
Interuptor: FINE!  
  
Link: That's better.  
  
G.L: Ok. And you need to eat that thing.  
  
Link: This? (Holds up some kind of juice)  
  
G.L: Well, if you guarana, yeah.  
  
Link: Guarana? What's to day's date?  
  
G.L: Tuesday.  
  
Link: @#$%! I forgot to meet the Deku Tree!  
  
(Meanwhile)  
  
Saria: Y! M! CA!  
  
Jack: It's fun to stay at the-  
  
Saria: Y! M! CA!  
  
Mido: Dadadadada...  
  
Maria: LOOK! It's Daffy Duck!  
  
Daffy Duck: HELLO! CHILDREN!  
  
Fido: YAY! GIMME A LOLLY!  
  
Daffy Duck: I don't have one.  
  
Fido: You don't? DIE!  
  
(Parental Advisory: Extreme Violence)  
  
Fido: I feel better!  
  
(Daffy Duck waste is lying on the ground)  
  
Saria: I am NOT cleaning that up.  
  
(Meanwhile)  
  
Navi: HELP!  
  
Farore: GOSH! I ALREADY HELPED YOU!  
  
Navi: AT LEAST CAN YOU UNTIE ME?  
  
Farore: No  
  
Navi: @#$% you!  
  
Mido: How the fairy?  
  
Chef: Itz vevy vine my zir.  
  
Mido: Good. It's our main course so DON'T BLOW IT!  
  
Chef: Yez zir. Nou, Nou, Lizzle vairvy, ziz vill ve vervy quick.  
  
Navi: @#$%$^#@$%#@@#$%$#$%@!!!  
  
Chef: Cuzzing von't helv vu, zo zay your puwyers.  
  
Navi: HEY! LOOK! LISTEN!  
  
Chef: ACK! (Dies)  
  
(Meanwhile)  
  
Link: MAN! IT'S FREEZING!  
  
Shiek: Ah, I've been expecting you.  
  
Link: Do you know why it's freezing down here?  
  
Shiek: You drank Guarana, and someone killed Volvagia!  
  
(Meawhile)  
  
Navi: (Arrives at Fire Temple)  
  
I say, HEY! LOOK! LISTEN! When I want too,  
  
And it's HEY! LOOK! LISTEN! That save me,  
  
When I say HEY! LOOK! LISTEN!,  
  
Things die before me!  
  
Volvagia: Why does she have to say that here? Awww.. Man! (Dies)  
  
Gorons: Oh! No! Without him, we will die because of temperature! We must kill that Fairy!  
  
Narrator: So, with the combined forces of the Dondogos and Gorons, Navi was kicked out of the Mt. Everest.  
  
Link: HEY! IT'S DEATH MOUNTAIN!  
  
Narrator: Reads that sign!  
  
Link: So, it's actually mount Everest huh?  
  
Narrator: Yup.  
  
Link: You lost your accent.  
  
Narrator: I learned more English.  
  
Link: O.o  
  
Darunia: GOD! WE GONNA DIE!  
  
God: Fine! (Restores temperature)  
  
Link: COOL! God, can you kill Navi?  
  
God: No.  
  
Link: Please?  
  
God: No.  
  
Link: Come on! You hate it when she killed all the things you created!  
  
God: No, because the GodESSES created them. But it says in my contract not to kill her.  
  
Link: DAMMIT!  
  
Navi: YAY!  
  
Goron: DIE!  
  
Navi: CRAP!  
Ok. Here's another poll.  
  
POLLS!  
  
How many of you seen Not another Teen Movie?  
  
I did  
  
I DIDN'T!  
  
I HATE IT!  
  
I love it!  
  
I don't care.  
  
Do you think there should be Horribly, horrible terror on Termina?  
  
YEAH!  
  
HELL NO!  
  
I don't care  
  
If you haven't voted the poll in the previous chapter, review it on there!  
  
Avios! AMIGOS! :D 


	11. STUPID PROMISE!

Horribly, horrible terror on Hyrule  
  
A/n: Hallelujah!  
  
Me: What?  
  
A/n: I decoded these @#$% #@$# etc.!  
  
Me: Really?  
  
A/n: Yeah!  
  
Me: Ok.  
  
A/n: Ok! We don't own Zelda.  
Chapter 11: STUPID PROMISE!  
  
Link: Ok. So.... where do I go?  
  
Shiek: You gotta go to Water Temple  
  
Link: Okay.  
  
Shiek: Bye!  
  
Link: Oh, no you're not! (Hog-ties Shiek)  
  
Shiek: WHAT THE F*** ARE YOU DOING?  
  
Interuptor: What? You said you decoded them!  
  
A/n: I'm sure I did...  
  
Narrator: Hello, Everybody!  
  
Me: Oh, crap.  
  
(50t rock drop on the Narrator)  
  
Narrator: How did you know?  
  
Me: What?  
  
Narrator: I'm Navi!  
  
Me: WHAT!  
  
(2000000t rock drop on him again)  
  
Narrator: It's just an April fools joke.... (Dies)  
  
Me: O.O;  
  
Link: You got away too much. Mwahahahahahahahahahaha...  
  
Shiek: EVIL B*******!  
  
Link: Shut up.  
  
(The gate of Dead Sea)  
  
Link: It suppose to be Lake Hylia  
  
Interuptor: No, it isn't.  
  
Link: Grrr..... stop hacking all the names!  
  
Interuptor: If you demand me again, I'll vaporize you.  
  
Link: ;gulp;  
  
Interuptor: Good.  
  
Link: Ok. Ummm... How do I go through that gate?  
  
Interuptor: That's for me to know and you find out.  
  
Link: Darn...  
  
Shiek: Untie me!  
  
Link: No.  
  
Shiek: F*** you!  
  
Link: I really don't care.  
  
Shiek: B*******!  
  
Link: Ok. Lucky I came 1st on the national Kokori high jumping!  
  
Shiek: Like to see you try.  
  
Link: Hiya! (does the Matrix flip but fell flat face)  
  
Shiek: Try-hard...  
  
Link: Grrrrrr... I better check. (Checks his 'Guide for all stupid and lousy Gamers) I gotta get these Iron Boots eh? Can't be bothered. (Walks away)  
  
Shiek: Ca you untie me?  
  
Link: No!  
  
Shiek: Damn you!  
  
Link: Shut up.  
  
Shiek: ;Jumps all the way to link; DIE! ;lunges at him;  
  
Link: MAMAMIA! ;throws his shield;  
  
Shiek: ;does the matrix; Mwahahahahaha, huh?  
  
;shield comes back;  
  
Shiek: Noooooooooooooooooooo......  
  
Link: Stupid special effects...  
  
Link: Oh god! I hate that sun laughing at me!  
  
Sun: Heehee!  
  
Link: DIE! ;Throws apples;  
  
Sun: ACK! ;Dies;  
  
Link: This is boring.  
  
;Lon lon Ranch;  
  
Ingo: First you have to do this, and this, and this, and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah,Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah,blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah,blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah,blah, blah,blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah,blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah,blah, blah, blah,blah,blah,blah,blah,blah,blah,blah,blah,blah,blah,blah,blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah,blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah,blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah,blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah,blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah,blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah,blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah,  
  
Malon: Yes, sir. Yes, sir. Yes, sir. Yes, sir. Yes, sir. Yes, sir. Yes, sir. Yes, sir. Yes, sir. Yes, sir. Yes, sir. Yes, sir. Yes, sir. Yes, sir. Yes, sir. Yes, sir. YES, SIR, GOD DAMMIT!  
  
Ingo: Good. And check on Epona.  
  
Malon: Yes, sir. Evil Bastard...  
  
(Back to Link)  
  
Link: Ok. I better go back to the forest. (Trudges back to the Forest)  
  
Navi: HEY! LOOK! LISTEN!  
  
Link: AHHH!! (Throws Bombs)  
  
Navi: AHHHHHH!!!!!!  
  
Link: YOU! How did you get here?  
  
Navi: This is my story....  
Navi: AHH!!!!  
  
Gorons: Let's hit it with all the atomic bombs!  
  
Dondogo: Wait... this isn't right.  
  
Goron: Why?  
  
Dondogo: ATOMIC BOMBS ARE WEAK! We must use HYDRGEN BOMBS!  
  
Goron: Yeah!  
  
Navi: CRAP!  
  
Goron: Yeah, right word to say!  
  
Navi: HELP!  
  
Dondogo: Prepare the Hydrogen bomb!  
  
Goron: Just in case, I'll bring in the Nitro Bomb!  
  
Navi: WHY ME! I'M SUPPOSE TO BE THE MOST HONORED!  
  
Audience: No, you're not! (Throws coke cans)  
  
Navi: F**K YOU!  
  
Goron: Throw the Hydrogen bomb!  
  
(Throws the Hydrogen bomb)  
  
Goron: It missed!  
  
Dondogo: Another one! (Throws another one)  
  
Navi: SHIT! F**K! CRAP! SHIT!  
  
Dondogo: It missed again!  
  
Goron: Throw all of them!  
  
Navi: Why don't you waste it on Baghdad?  
  
Goron: We don't care about that Democracy thingy.  
  
Dondogo: THROW! THROW! THROW!  
  
(All of them missed!)  
  
Goron: BASTARD!  
  
Dondogo: Attack her with the Nitro bomb!  
  
(Throws the Nitro bomb)  
  
Dondogo: Wait, since the bomb explode at the radius of 14km...  
  
Goron: ...aren't we supposed to die?  
  
Dondogo: ... yeah.  
  
Goron: May god bless us.  
  
Dondogo: Yeah.  
  
(Nitro bomb explodes)  
  
Navi: I'm alive!  
  
Interuptor: NO! (Throws barrage of rocks)  
  
Navi: AHHHH!!!!!  
  
Interuptor: GO AWAY!  
  
Navi: Fine! (Walks away)  
Navi: That's my story!  
  
Link: Sheesh! The authors mean, letting me handle Navi....  
  
Navi: He also said you gotta go to Lon Lon Ranch.  
  
Link: Good. My bones have been aching all year lately.  
  
; Lon Lon Ranch;  
  
Malon: HEY! It's the fairy boy!  
  
Link: Shut up, Cow girl.  
  
Malon: Say that again and I'll incinerate you.  
  
Link: Incinerate IT!  
  
Navi: HEY!  
  
Link: What? You're not a human, fairy.  
  
Navi: You're not either ELF.  
  
Link: No, I'm a kokori!  
  
Navi: So?  
  
Link: Yeah.  
  
Navi: Huh.  
  
Link:....  
  
Navi: How do you say ...?  
  
Link: ...  
  
Navi: Link?  
  
Link: ...  
  
'Navi walks closer to Link;  
  
Link: BOOO!  
  
Navi: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!  
  
Link: AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHA  
  
Sun: HeeHee!  
  
Link: Oh no... (Finds a Rocket Launcher and fires at the sun)  
  
Sun: ACK!  
  
Link: Oh no! He's alive!  
  
Sun: Heehee!  
  
Link: (Throws spitpaper)  
  
Sun: Ehhhh... (Dies)  
  
Link: Good.  
  
Malon: Ok. Are you ready for the Marriage?  
  
Link:???  
  
Malon: You promised to marry me!  
  
Link: ....shit.  
  
Malon: Don't say...  
  
Link:...  
  
Malon: You forgot... (Eyes turn abnormally red)  
  
Link: Crap.  
  
Malon: DIE! (Grabs a sword and stabs Navi in a R-rated manner)  
  
Link: Whew...  
  
Navi: MY GOD! I'M ALIVE!  
  
Ingo: WHAT THE? (Grabs a spade)  
  
Navi: Shit!  
  
POLLS  
  
Have you seen Monty Python and the Holy Grail?  
  
YEAH!  
  
nope  
  
OF COURSE! IT'S FUNNY AS HELL!  
  
I HATE IT! IT'S SO GAY!  
  
I don't care.  
  
Do you think this is funny?  
  
1 Yes! 2 NO! BURN IT!  
  
3 I don't care. 


	12. Salt for Ghandi

Horribly, horrible terror on Hyrule  
  
A/n: We dun own Zelda!  
  
Chapter 12: Salt for the Ghandi  
  
Ingo: DIE!  
  
Navi: NO!  
  
Ingo: YES!  
  
Navi: Don't make me say, HEY! LOOK! LISTEN!  
  
Ingo: AHHHHH! (Runs away)  
  
Navi: Whew...  
  
Malon: Sorry, but you can't have Epona then.  
  
Link: Darn... (Walks away)  
  
Navi: Wait for me!  
  
Link: I'm not happy!  
  
Navi: Why don't I make a sound of a horse?  
  
Link: Ok...  
  
Navi: (Grabs two halves of coconut and make it sound like hoofbeats)  
  
(Dead Sea)  
  
Link: LOOK! A guard!  
  
Lakitu: Who goes there?  
  
Link: Link, hero who will save hyrule.  
  
Lakitu: Who's the other one?  
  
Link: That's Navi, a fairy. We have ridden the lengths and breadths of the land in search of medallions. I must speak with you're lord and master.  
  
Lakitu: What? Ridden on horse?  
  
Link: YES!  
  
Lakitu: You're using ummmmm... oranges! Wait, coconuts!  
  
Link: What?  
  
Lakitu: You've got two half empty coconuts and you're bangin' them together!  
  
Link: So? We have ridden since the snows of winter covered this land. Through the kingdom of Mercia, through.  
  
Lakitu: Where'd you get the coconuts?  
  
Link: I dunno. It found them.  
  
Navi: HEY!  
  
Lakitu: Found them? In Mercia the coconuts are tropical!  
  
Link: What do you mean?  
  
Lakitu: Well, this is a temperate zone!  
  
Link: A swallow may fly south for the sun, or the house martin or the flubber seek warmer climbs in winter, yet these are not strangers to our land?  
  
Lakitu: Are you suggesting coconuts migrate?  
  
Link: Not at all, they could be carried.  
  
Lakitu: What? A swallow carrying a coconut?  
  
Link: It could grip it by the husk...  
  
Lakitu: It's not a question of where it grips it, it's a simple question of weight ratios! A 5 oz. bird could not carry a 1 lbs. coconut!  
  
Link: Well it doesn't matter! Will you let me go through these gates so I could meet your boss!  
  
Lakitu: Listen, in order to maintain air speed velocity, a swallow needs to beat its wings 43 times every second, right?  
  
Link: PLEASE!  
  
Lakitu: Am I right?  
  
Link: SHUT UP!  
  
(Scientist walks up)  
  
Scientist: It could be carried by an African swallow.  
  
Lakitu: Oh yes! An African swallows maybe, but not a European swallow, that's my point.  
  
Scientist: Oh yeah, I agree with that!  
  
Link: ASK YOUR BOSS IF I CAN GO THROUGH!  
  
Lakitu: But then of course, African swallows are non-migratory.  
  
Scientist: Ah, Yeah.  
  
(Link and Navi walk away)  
  
Lakitu: So they couldn't bring a coconut back anyway.  
  
Scientist: Wait a minute! Supposing two swallows carried it together!  
  
Lakitu: No.... they'd have to have it on a line.  
  
Scientist: No! Simple! They'd just use a strand of tree bark!  
  
Lakitu: What? Hold it under the dorsal guiding feather?  
  
Scientist: Well, why not?  
  
Lakitu: Uhhhh..... Got me there.  
  
(Meanwhile...)  
  
Link: Throw these coconuts away!  
  
Navi: Fine.  
  
Link: This place looks abnormally dry.  
  
Navi: Of course! It's dead Sea!  
  
Link: What ever.  
  
(They spot Ghandi)  
  
Link: Yo.  
  
Ghandi: (Indian language) One does not speak such word.  
  
Link: What?  
  
Ghandi: What do you seek from me and the Salt March?  
  
Link: Uhhhhh... Open that temple?  
  
Ghandi: Never you speak about temple of the Islam.  
  
Link: Uhhhhh... It's water.  
  
Ghandi: Must you be one of these European trying to stop me.  
  
Link: What's a European?  
  
Ghandi: Don't question things you can't explain.  
  
Link: Ok, dude-  
  
Ghandi: One does not know that word.  
  
Link: OK!  
  
(Walks away)  
  
Link: Let's see...  
  
Shiek: Ow, shit.  
  
Link: OY!  
  
Shiek: RUN!  
  
(Runs away)  
  
Link: Oh no you don't!  
  
Shiek: Please! Have mercy! I only wanted salt!  
  
Link: Tell me where to go under that temple!  
  
Shiek: I'll warp you there! Have Mercy! Have Mercy!  
  
(Water Temple)  
  
Link: I'll go to random door!  
  
(Finds Ruto)  
  
Link: I thought you were dead.  
  
Ruto: No, I fainted!  
  
Link: Oh...  
  
Ruto: You got mom's precious!  
  
Link: This? (Holds Zora's Sapphire)  
  
Ruto: YEAH!  
  
Link: But your father gave to me!  
  
Ruto: You really think that fatso is MY father?  
  
Link: Yeah?  
  
Ruto: Well, still, it's MINE!  
  
Link: Fine, then. (Throws it to Ruto and smashes into her head) I think I REALLY killed her now.  
  
(Finds a random door)  
  
Dark Link: None shall pass.  
  
Link: What?  
  
Dark Link: None shall pass.  
  
Link: I have no quarrel with you, but I must cross this corridor!  
  
Dark Link: I move, for no man.  
  
Link: SO BE IT!  
  
(Link and Dark Link unsheathes his sword)  
  
Link: Hiya! (Chops Dark Link's arm off)  
  
Link: Stand aside!  
  
Dark Link: NO! This is nothing but a scratch!  
  
Link: WHAT!  
  
Dark Link: I had worse! Now come on!  
  
Link: Grrr...(Chops other one off) Good fight, but you can't beat me!  
  
(Dark Link kicks Link)  
  
Link: OW!  
  
Dark Link: COME ON!  
  
Link: O.O;;  
  
Dark Link: Had enough?  
  
Link: But both of your arms off!  
  
Dark Link: Yes, I do!  
  
Link: LOOK!  
  
Dark Link: It's just a cut!  
  
Link: ;chops off one leg;  
  
Dark Link: I'll do you for that!  
  
Link: What? Bleed on me?  
  
Dark Link: No, I'll kill you!  
  
Link: Grrrrr... (Chops off other leg)  
  
Link: Ok. I'll leave you like this. (Walks away)  
  
Dark Link: Come on, WUSS! BASTARD! RUNNING AWAY? COME HERE AND I'LL BITE YOU TO HELL! WUSSES!  
  
Link: That guy is on MY NERVE!  
  
Navi: Funny. I though I was.  
  
Link: ;throws Navi to Dark Link;  
  
Navi: Mamamia! (Runs like an ant)  
  
Dark Link: I'll ;chomp; get ;chomp; you!  
  
Link: Ahhhhhh...  
  
(Boss' Room)  
  
Link: Come here and fight like a man, wussy! You can't beat me!  
  
Morpha: DIE!  
  
Link: Huh? It's just a Euglena! What could it possibly do?  
  
(Throws him like hell)  
  
Link: Ohhh... Pain... Truce! Truce!  
  
Morpha: I like truce. So it's a deal!  
  
Navi: I'LL SAVE YOU LINK! HEY! LOOK! LISTEN!  
  
Morpha: Ehhhhh.... (Dies)  
  
(Ghandi rushes in)  
  
Ghandi: WHAT IN THE F*** DID YOU DO? DID YOU KILL THE GOD MORPHA?  
  
Navi: CRAP!  
  
Ghandi: DIE!  
  
POLLS  
  
Have you seen Eight Legged Freaks?  
  
YES!  
  
Nope.  
  
I LOVE IT!  
  
I HATE IT!  
  
I don't care.  
  
Do you think I'm crazy?  
  
YEAH! You're the most craziest person I know!  
  
No, I saw someone crazier than you.  
  
I don't give a damn. 


	13. We are off to the sea, sea, sea

Horribly, horrible terror on Hyrule  
  
A/n: HI!  
  
Me: SHUT UP!  
  
A/n: WHY?  
  
Me: LOOK!  
  
(Camera shows 2 people having...)  
  
Me: What do you think?  
  
(I'll ell you it later)  
  
.  
  
.  
  
..  
  
.  
  
...  
  
....  
  
...  
  
......  
  
........  
  
......  
  
........  
  
Me: The answer is...  
  
(Camera shows 2 people having to pay bills)  
  
A/n: Grrrrrrr... YOU WASTED ALL THIS SPACE FOR THAT?  
  
Me: Yeah, so?  
  
A/n: Ummmm... I don't know. We do not own Zelda!  
  
******  
  
Chapter 13: We're off to the sea, sea, sea  
  
******  
  
Link: Cool! An engravement!  
  
Says: At the first sign of dawn shoot an arrow.  
  
Link: Wy?  
  
Says: Or elso it'll strike you with immense power of blizzard.  
  
Link: O.o! (Shoots an arrow)  
  
Says: Now you have a free gift of the...  
  
(What do you think?)  
  
Interuptor: NOOOOO!!!!!! (Smashes uhhhhhh... the brackets?)  
  
where there's a will, there's a way.  
  
Interuptor: NOOOOOOO!!!!!  
  
;Ok. He just smashed ( ) and away.;  
  
(I'm ALIVE)  
  
Interuptor: YOU'RE NAVI! DIE!  
  
(50t gold drops in front of Navi )  
  
Interuptor: Grrrrrrrrrr...  
  
Navi: I'm rich!  
  
God: I HATE FILTHY RICH PEOPLE!  
  
;strikes Navi with Immense power of blizzard;  
  
Navi: NOOOO!!! I'm poor!  
  
God: Get on with the story!  
  
Link: So be it. Anyways, Yay! I got the Fire Arrow!  
  
Navi: Please! Why don't you help me?  
  
(Cuts to see Navi chased by Ghandi and the Salt March)  
  
Link: Why should I?  
  
Navi: You can't read without me!  
  
Link: BUT... I have the COUPON!  
  
(Expiry date: 12/31/647)  
  
Link: FINE!  
  
(Ok. Current day is 3/23/648)  
  
(Shoots fire Arrow around Ghandi and the Salt March)  
  
Ghandi: Meaning of what this is?  
  
Link: I DON'T CARE! It's in my contract!  
  
Ghandi: Free us please you!  
  
Link: F*** you! (Throws barrage of Kokori swords)  
  
Ghandi: Killed Europeans did Indians . . .  
  
Link: OK! Now to go to ummmm...  
  
Sun: Heehee!  
  
Link: I'm ignoring you. I'm ignoring you.  
  
Sun: WHAT! Fine! You gotta go to Karkariko Village and to the 'Pyramid'.  
  
Link: Ok.  
  
Sun: Heehee!  
  
Link: THAT DOES IT! (Throws holy grenade)  
  
Sun: I'm INVINCIBLE! HEEHEE!  
  
Link: AHH!!!! (Throws every bomb, missile, grenade etc. at Sun)  
  
Sun: Heehee!  
  
Link: AHHHH!!!! (Throws popcorn bag)  
  
Sun: Ehhhhhh... EVI-ACK! (Dies)  
  
Link: Why does everything get killed with rubbish?  
  
God: I dunno.  
  
Link: DAMN!  
  
(Karkariko Village)  
  
Red-haired lady: Hey! You want a chicken? I have his special egg!  
  
Link: I was in a mood of something pluckery...  
  
R-hl: Okay!  
  
(Link gets the eg and eats it)  
  
R-hl: (Horrified) That's the only egg! It costed millions!  
  
Link: Look, lady. I don't give jack shit.  
  
R-hl: Then you shall be banished from here! (Uses energy blast to send Link 100 years faster)  
  
Link: Awww... great. What do I have to do?  
  
Grandmother: Link! Check on your sister!  
  
Link: Huh? I had a sister?  
  
Aryll: Link! I'm bored! Let's play!  
  
Link: WHAT!  
  
Navi: (As disembodied voice) I'm gonna do something verrryyyy sneaky...  
  
(Hides herself in a flute)  
  
Link: But I look so crappy on Wind Waker...  
  
Interuptor: FINE! I don't even know the exact story. . .  
  
Link: WHAT!  
  
Interuptor: So? I neeeeeeed to GET IT!  
  
Link: Isn't it out yet?  
  
Interuptor: No, because I live in Australia! Ooops. . .  
  
Link: YAY! I WON!  
  
Interuptor: Go away.  
  
(Flings him in the middle of an ocean)  
  
Link: DO'H!  
  
Navi: MAN! You're stupid!  
  
Link: God has abandoned me...  
  
Navi: You're in a Fishing House!  
  
Link: GRRRR!!!!  
  
End Chapter  
  
*******  
  
POLLS  
  
*******  
  
Have you seen MIB?  
  
a Yes.  
  
b No  
  
c IT'S FUNNY!  
  
d IT'S CRAP AS HELL!  
  
e I don't care.  
  
*  
  
Do you think I should change the title?  
  
A YES!  
  
B NO! I LIKE IT!  
  
C I don't care. This is Jennifer writin the story now while daniels gone...Orlando Bloom comes up as Legalous: I challenge you Link!!!!MuHaaaa~(Legalous is soooo~~~~~ HOT!!!!!anyway this is Daniels twin sister, Jennifer if u wanna Know.)and of course Legalous wins cause hes my guy!!!MuHahahahahahah I have wrecked my bros stupid 'fan fiction story...Muhahahahahahah!!!!!Sorri I didn't take my medication today.. 


	14. If it says, ¡®Lens of Truth¡¯, why does ...

Horribly, horrible Terror on Hyrule  
  
A/n: Some POINTLESS advertisement.  
  
Read 'Day of Mario!'-Katrio (Kimmoboy)  
  
A/n: Ok...that was fast.  
  
Me:: P  
  
A/n: We don't own Zelda!  
  
*********  
  
Chapter 14: If it says, 'Lens of Truth', why does It show lies?  
  
*********  
  
Link: EVIL SEA! (Swimming Helplessly in the middle of a pond)  
  
Navi: It's a pond, you idiot.  
  
Link: If it is, why is it so deep?  
  
Navi: Oh yeah. Lucky I learned to swim.  
  
Link: DAMN IT!  
  
Fisherman: Hey, are you ok?  
  
Link: WHAT DO YOU THINK, BASTARD?  
  
Fisherman: Don't call me a bastard, bastard.  
  
Link: Shut up, bastard.  
  
Fisherman: You want a piece of me, bastard?  
  
Link: First, can you get me out of this pond?  
  
Fisherman: Ok.  
  
(Pulls him out)  
  
Link: Thanks.  
  
Fisherman: By the way, since I found this in some ice cave, you can have it.  
  
(Holds Iron Boots)  
  
Link: THANKS!  
  
Navi: Wait!  
  
Link: You can swim!  
  
Navi: Yeah, but this is like a sea to me!  
  
Link: Life sucks, get over it.  
  
Navi: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!  
  
Link: Heheh.  
  
(Karkariko Village)  
  
Link: I MADE IT!  
  
(Spirit from the well sends him flying to the Deku Tree)  
  
Link: Of all the places I land, it had to be this one.  
  
Sprout: HEY!  
  
Link: What?  
  
Sprout: That's not a good way of respecting a Deku Tree!  
  
Link: Yeah? I could just, chop you off and sell the wood you know.  
  
Sprout: ;Gulp;  
  
Link: Good. What do you want?  
  
Sprout: I am your father.  
  
Link: ;GASP!;  
  
Sprout: April FOOLS!  
  
Link: Grrrrrr... DOES ANY OF YOU HAVE A CHAINSAW?  
  
Kokoris: NO!  
  
Link: THANK YOU!  
  
Sprout: See? You can't hurt me!  
  
Link: HIYA! (Tries to chop it with his sword, but it breaks) Crap.  
  
Sprout: I'm INVICIBLE!  
  
Sun: Heehee!  
  
Sprout: AHHH!! I DON'T WANT TO GROW!  
  
Sun: Heehee!  
  
Sprout: No...please...  
  
Sun: Wait, even worse! NI!  
  
Sprout: OH THE PAIN!  
  
Sun: NI! NI! NI! NI! NI! NI! NI!!  
  
Sprout: No...more...  
  
Link: Wow.  
  
Sun: Heehee!  
  
Link: I'm REALLY sick of that. DIE! ;throws an ice cube;  
  
Sun: Ehhhhhh...  
  
Sprout: THANK YOU! For that, I'll give you my lens of truth!  
  
Link: Really? (Checks it out) HEY! This is just some thing that doesn't show any clothes!  
  
Sprout: Awwell. Oh yeah. Daddy said you're not a kokori.  
  
Link: YAY! NO ONE CAN CALL ME ELF ANYMORE!  
  
Sprout: He said you're a dwarf.  
  
Link: WHAT?  
  
Sprout: Just kidding. You're a Hylian.  
  
DUNDUNDUNNNNNN!!!!!  
  
Link: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!  
  
Sprout: Why?  
  
Link: Hylians have bigger ears than Kokoris.  
  
Sprout: Ohhhhhhhh...  
  
Aryll: HELLO!  
  
Sprout: MAMAMIA!  
  
Link: Wonder what this do... HEY PUT SOME CLOTHES ON ARYLL!  
  
Aryll: I did!  
  
Link: Oh great. Sprout, do you use this to perv on people?  
  
Sprout: NO! Ummmm...yes.  
  
Aryll: Link, can I go with you?  
  
Link: No.  
  
Aryll: Please?  
  
Link: NO!  
  
Aryll: PLEASE?  
  
Link: AUTHOR! WHY DID YOU PUT HER HERE?  
  
Interuptor: To go on an Adventure with you.  
  
Link: DOH!  
  
Interuptor: I return I'll transport you two to the shadow temple.  
  
Link: ;sigh; Fine.  
  
******** Meanwhile...  
  
Navi: HELP ME!  
  
Fisherman: Eat shit.  
  
Navi: PLEASE!  
  
Fisherman: I TOLD YOU! EAT SHIT!  
  
Navi: EVIL! HEY!  
  
Fisherman: Huh?  
  
Navi: LOOK!  
  
Fisherman: Crap.  
  
Navi: LISTEN!  
  
Fisherman: AHHHH!! I'LL HELP YOU PLEASE! FORGIVE ME!  
  
End Chapter  
  
**********  
  
POLLS  
  
How many of you seen Two weeks notice?  
  
I did!  
  
I didn't.  
  
IT'S FUNNY!  
  
I HATE IT!  
  
I don't care!  
  
**********  
  
Does any of you have Hotmail?  
  
I DO!  
  
I don't.  
  
I don't CARE! 


	15. we're FINALLY at the PYRAMIDS!

Horribly, horrible terror on Hyrule  
  
NOTE: This might not show the full story. You will know this is the full story if you read the POLLS.  
  
A/n: I'm awfully sorry because of . . . what? But you were always crap at Spelling!  
  
Me: Yea! But I got word pad so it gona be worze!  
  
A/n: Ypou spelt Worse wrong.  
  
Me: You Spelt Wou wrong too.  
  
A/n: You got You and Spelt wrong too.  
  
Me: Let's get this over and done with.  
  
A/n: Good idea. We do not own Zelds. ^_^  
  
************** Chapter 15: We're finally at the PYRAMIDS!  
  
(Navi)  
  
Navi: Do you know where Link is?  
  
Fisherman: Who's Link?  
  
Navi: You know!  
  
Fisherman: AH! Of course! He has to pay 'cause of these M********** sinking lures!  
  
Navi: OoO;;  
  
Fisherman: Yeah. Okies. (Grabs a rod)  
  
Navi: What, what are you doing?  
  
Fisherman: Sending you to Link. (Stellotapes Navi with the Hook) Weeee!! (Throws the sinker)  
  
Navi: AHHHH!!!! (The stellotapes breaks and Navi smashes straight on the ground)  
  
Fisherman: YES!  
  
Navi: MOMMY! (Runs away crying)  
  
Fisherman: One's gone!  
  
(Customer comes in)  
  
Customer: I would like to fish please.  
  
Fisherman: Really? In franquis, ze vizes zon't miggrete.  
  
Customer: Yes.........  
  
Fisherman: I cost 20k rupees.  
  
Customer: That's cheap!  
  
Fisherman: No. it costs 20000 rupees.  
  
Customer: DO'H!  
  
**************  
  
Link: 998 bottles of beer on the wall, 998 botttles of beer?  
  
**************  
  
A/n: You got bottles wrong.  
  
Interuptor: I don't give Damn!  
  
FF.net Admin: YOU DIDN'T FOLLOW THE GUIDELINES!  
  
Interuptor: DAMN!  
  
***************s  
  
Link: Take one down, pass it around, 997 bottles of beer on the wall.  
  
Aryll: LINK! LINK!  
  
Link: What?  
  
Aryll: Can I look these lens?  
  
Link: Yeah, whatever.  
  
(Aryll looks in the lens)  
  
Aryll: Oooooooo!!! Link! What's that beween your legs?  
  
Link: AHHHH!!! (Snatches it back)  
  
Aryll: WAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!  
  
Link: God, sisters are pain in the neck!  
  
Aryll: I HEARD THAT WAHHHHH!!!!  
  
Link: ;sigh;  
  
(Karkariko Village)  
  
Shiek: NOOOOO!!!! (Runs away aain)  
  
Link: Oh no, you don't! (Grapples him with Long shot)  
  
Sheik: Why me.........  
  
Link: I'll only free you only if you take her. (Jerks his finger at Aryll)  
  
(50t rock drop on him)  
  
Link: Argh......... fine.  
  
Shiek: You want me to warp you to the 'PYRAMID'.  
  
Link: You could say that.  
  
Shiek: Fine.  
  
(Pyramid)  
  
Parohs: You take as many gold as much you like.  
  
A/n: You spelt Pharohs wrong.  
  
Interuptor: Ummmmm..... do YOU know how to spell it then?  
  
A/n: No.  
  
Interuptor: Good.  
  
****************  
  
Link: REALLY?  
  
Pharoh: APRIL FOOLS!  
  
Link: I HATE APRIL FOOLS! WHY CAN'T THERE BE MAY FOOLS, OR JANUARY FOOLS?  
  
Pharoh: Don't ask questions you can't explain.  
  
Link: Okies. Can you take me to the Boss?  
  
Pharoh: I AM THE BOSS!  
  
(Link Pulls out a AK-102 rifle)  
  
Pharoh: Or not. Fine.  
  
(BongoBongo)  
  
BongoBongo: Boom Boom!  
  
Link: Kirk! Kirk!  
  
BongoBongo: Boom Boom!  
  
Link: Kirk! Kirk!  
  
BongoBongo: Boom Boom!  
  
Link: Kirk! Kirk!  
  
BongoBongo: Ok. My neck is sore. Do you ave some strepsils?  
  
Link: No, I got Soothers!  
  
BongoBongo: That'll do. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!  
  
Link: Why'd you do that for?  
  
BongoBongo: Shameless Advertising.  
  
Link: Ah, I see.  
  
(Navi spots Link)  
  
Navi: Look! Link is fine!  
  
Link: (Looks around) AHH! HELP! HE'S TORTURING ME! (Winks at Bongobongo)  
  
BongoBongo: May the force be with you.  
  
Navi: I'll SAVE YOU LINK! HEY! LOOK! LISTEN!  
  
BongoBongo: ACK! Ehhhhh.........  
  
(Pharoh rushes in)  
  
Pharoh: BOSS! Are you alright!  
  
BongoBongo: Ehhhhh.........  
  
Pharoh: WHO KILLED BOSS?  
  
Link: O.o;;;;; (Points at Navi)  
  
Pharoh: MEN! ATTACK THAT BUBBLE!  
  
Soldiers: Houi! Houi!  
  
Navi: MAMAMIA!  
  
Link: THANK YOU!  
  
Aryll: HEY! LINK!  
  
Link: AHH!!!! (Whispers to Pharoh) You have this. (Gives him the 'Len of Truth'  
  
Pharoh: WOW! Ah........ In return, I give you the REAL lens of Truh.  
  
A/n: You spelt truth worg.  
  
Me: You spelt wrong wrong.  
  
A/n: I HATE THIS!  
  
Me: You started it.  
  
A/n: SO YOU WANNA TAKE ME ON HUH?  
  
Me: COME ON BASTARD!  
  
End Chapter  
  
**********************  
  
POLS  
  
A/: You spelt Polls wrong.  
  
Me: You spelt yourself wrong.  
  
A/n: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Me: Okies. Now the Polls.  
  
How many of you seen Dude, where my car?  
  
I did!  
  
I didn't!  
  
I don't know if there's such thing.  
  
I HATE IT!  
  
I LIKE IT!  
  
I don't care.  
  
****************  
  
How you read my fic 'Day of Mario?'  
  
I DID!  
  
I didn't.  
  
I'm not going to aswer in case you go mad.  
  
A/n: You spelt answer wrong.  
  
Me: ;sigh; 


	16. Sahara Desert?

Horribly, Horrible Terror on Hyrule  
  
************** Chapter 16: Sahara Desert? **************  
  
Link: I AM GONNA KILL THAT TREE! But first........  
  
(7/11 shop stop)  
  
Link: Can I have a Chainsaw?  
  
Shopkeeper: We don't sell chainsaw........  
  
Link: Do you know any person who DOES sell chainsaw?  
  
Shopkeeper: Well, you could try Bunnings Warehouse.........  
  
Link: Thanks.  
  
Shopkeeper: That's 20 rupees.  
  
Link: What?  
  
Shopkeeper: Look.  
  
(Points at a sign: Advice-20rupees)  
  
Link: DO'H! Oh, why, why isn't there a cheat for infinite rupees?  
  
Aryll: Link! Can I go please? I have to go!  
  
Link: Then why don't you?  
  
(Points at a sign saying Going to the toilet: 50 rupees)  
  
Link: ;sigh; Here you go. (Pays 70 rupees)  
  
Aryll: Yay!  
  
Link: Let's go to Bunnings now.  
  
(Bunnings warehouse)  
  
(Meets a Vicious looking Shopkeeper who has an axe on his shoulder)  
  
Link: Ummmm... How much is a chainsaw?  
  
Shopkeeper: Huh? Chainsaw? You! You think I'm rich or something?  
  
Link: But I only wanted-  
  
Shopkeeper: (Grabs the Axe) I'll repeat, do you think I'm rich or something?  
  
Link: But I-  
  
Navi: HI LINK!  
  
Link: Aw, Shit.  
  
Navi: What?  
  
Link: Ummm...LOOK! ELVIS!  
  
Navi: I don't believe in that!  
  
Link: OH LOOK! NAZIS!  
  
Navi: My name is NAVI!  
  
Link: Uh, uh, uh, TELLETUBBIES!  
  
Navi: that's not good is it?  
  
Link: HELL NO!  
  
Navi: You're just tricking me!  
  
Link: I AM NOT! RUN! RUN! RUN!  
  
Navi: I am NOT falling for THAT!  
  
Link: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!! (Runs away)  
  
Navi: Like I believe that. I am not a thing to be fooled around!  
  
(Lala enters the warehouse)  
  
Lala: Dude, do you have like those, ya know, dude, radio and, like these things, like you know silver circle thingi, Dude?  
  
Navi: OH MY GOD! TELLETUBBIES!!!!  
  
Lala: Duuuuuuudde. Wazzzzzzzzzzzzup?  
  
Po: DUDE! THIS ELECRIC VAN GOT ONLY 20 MINUTES JUICE!  
  
Lala: DUDE! WHAT DO YOU CALL THIS PLATINUM CIRCLE THINGS!  
  
Poe: DUDE! IT'S CALLED A CD!  
  
Lala: WHAT? C WHAT?  
  
Poe: CD!  
  
Navi: Moving on...  
  
Link: What happened to soldiers trying to kill you?  
  
Navi: Well, this is what happened.  
  
****************************  
  
Soldiers: Houi! Houi!  
  
Navi: Look, can you STOP saying Houi Houi  
  
Soldier: Houi! Houi!  
  
Navi: YOU STUPID BRAINWASHED M************* bastards!  
  
Soldier: Houi? Houi?  
  
Navi: ARRRGGGGHHHH!!!!! (Throws apples at them)  
  
Soldier: Houi. Houi. (Dies)  
  
Navi: O.o;; Well, I'm off to find Link!  
  
***************  
  
Aryll: Oooooooo!!!! Link! Can I have this? (Points at a flute)  
  
Link: No.  
  
Aryll: WAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!  
  
Link: Still no.  
  
Aryll: Why?  
  
Link: LOOK! (Points at the price: 100 rupees) I only have 29 rupees.  
  
Aryll: Ok.  
  
Link: I hafta go now! (Looks at the sign saying- Toilet-20 rupees) What's with the people to Toilets and Rupees?  
  
Aryll: I got some money!  
  
Link: How much?  
  
Aryll: Here. (Shows him 1000 rupees)  
  
Link: WERE ON EARTH DID YOU GET THAT MUCH?  
  
Aryll: This weird looking dragon gave it to me.  
  
Link: I see.  
  
(Rock come out of nowhere and hits Link with TREMENDOUS force, but it breaks)  
  
Link: HA! My BUTT is a lot stronger than that!  
  
(Master Hand comes out and slaps Link on the Butt)  
  
Link: FEELER!  
  
Master Hand: I WILL NOT TOLORATE THAT PIECE OF CRAP!  
  
(He punches Link)  
  
Link: Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo........  
  
(Sahara Desert)  
  
Link: Ohhhh... where am I? NAVI? ARYLL?  
  
(No answer)  
  
Link: Hallelujah!  
  
(Except for a shout saying, 'I'm here!')  
  
Link: Please let that be a mistake.  
  
(It isn't)  
  
Link: But where are they?  
  
(Right next to Link)  
  
Ayrll: HEY! LOOK! LISTEN!  
  
Link: Like that'll do somethin.  
  
Navi: HEY! LOOK! LISTEN!  
  
Link: SHIT! (Throws bombs everywhere)  
  
Navi: MAMAMIA!  
  
Bin Laden: Hoy, stop!  
  
Link: Who are you?  
  
Bin Laden: Bin Laden.  
  
Link: YOU ARE THE #1 TERRORIST IN A PLACE CALLED WHAZZLEWAZZLE!  
  
Bin Laden: What?  
  
Link: Earth!  
  
Bin Laden: I know. That's why I hid here. I sell weapons!  
  
Link: Like what? Nothings better an my AK-102! (Hugs his rifle)  
  
Bin Laden: Well, I have a Bomchu?  
  
Link: WHAT? PIKACHU? NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!! (Shoots everywhere looking for Pikachu)  
  
Bin Laden: ARGH!!! (got shot) Drops his Bag)  
  
Link: What's in here? (Checks to see Pikachus wearing bombs and a button on their chest) COOL! SUICIDE BOMBERS!  
  
Navi: OK! EVERYBODY DANCE NOW! DO DO, DODO, DO DO, DODO, DO DO-  
  
Link: Yeah, I get the point.  
  
End Chapter  
  
*************** Polls ***************  
  
How may of you seen Joe Dirt?  
  
A) I DID! B)I DIDN'T C)I LIKE IT! D)I HATE IT! E) WHY ARE YOU GIVIG US SUCH CRAP THINGS?  
  
Do you think this story is funny?  
  
A) HELL YES! B)HELL NO! C)WHY SHOULD I ANSWER? 


	17. Who would think of a SPHINX?

Horribly, Horrible terror on Hyrule  
  
A/n: Dun DUNNNNN!!!! We now have the 3rd last chapter on this FIC!!!!!  
  
(Huge Amounts of Cheers and Fire Crackers)  
  
Me: WHAT? So YOU think my writings just STUPID?  
  
A/n: HELL YEAH!  
  
Me: Really? ;shrugs and walks away; ;sniffle;  
  
*********** Chapter 17: who would think of a SPHINX? *************  
  
Link: FINALLY! I MADE IT!  
  
Navi: No, you didn't.  
  
Link: Don't make me break that light bulb of yours, Naxi.  
  
Navi: IT'S NAVI!!!!!!!  
  
Link: O? Navy, eh? Good name!  
  
Navi: Grrrrrrr...  
  
Link: What? I'm pointing out the Fact!  
  
Navi: Well, your FACT isn't very much helpful.  
  
Link: Eh, Life sucks. Get over it.  
  
Aryll: Brother! Brother!  
  
Link: What is it now?  
  
Aryll: I see a Large Sphinx on top of Gaias Cliff!  
  
Link: WHAT?  
  
(Desert Temple aka Sphinx)  
  
Link: Sheesh, these places you made up are from Asia and Africa!  
  
Interuptor: So?  
  
Link: Well, uh, don't worry.  
  
Navi: I believe that there's a big block in front of you.  
  
Link: I believe I'm eating some Hotdogs here!  
  
Hotdog Salesman: GET YOUR HOTDOGS!  
  
Navi: You followed us?  
  
Hotdog Salesman: AHHH! Floating Light bulb! (Smashes a pie in her face)  
  
Navi: I'm not a clown idiot.  
  
Hotdog Salesman: So?  
  
Navi: HOW DO YOU LIKE IT? (Throws a pan-full of Hot oil mixed with pie in the Hotdog Salesman's face)  
  
Hotdog Salesman: MAMAMIA!  
  
Link: Ok. I finished eating let's move that block!  
  
(It didn't budge)  
  
Link: I HATE YOU BRACKETS! TUANTING ME!  
  
(Ha, ha. What are you going to do about it?)  
  
Link: YOU WILL PAY!  
  
(Link pays e 100 rupees)  
  
Link: DO'H!  
  
(Ha, ha. Sucks to be you.)  
  
Link: Ah, HA! Gameshark codes!  
  
(Golden Gauntlet appears in front of Link)  
  
Link: Oh yea!  
  
(It still didn't budge)  
  
Link: HEY!  
  
(Ok. Ok. It moved and accidentally pushed too hard to reveal a hole to the Mirror shield)  
  
Link: Oh, yeah, two shields, I'm da man!  
  
Navi: Sure you are.  
  
Link: Oh F**** off.  
  
Aryll: HEY LINK! EKKKK! (Get's kidnapped)  
  
Link: FINALLY! JUSTICE!  
  
(Goes to the Bosses room)  
  
Link: Hey! This is not the boss! This is just a stupid knight with iron knuckles!  
  
Navi: Don't forget Iron plates, Iro axe and an Iron brain strong enough to kill you!  
  
Iron Knuckle: Must... Destroy Target...  
  
(Lunges at Link and slices him with his axe)  
  
Navi: LINK!!  
  
Link: Mwahahahahahaha...  
  
(Reforms himself)  
  
Navi: O.o;  
  
Link: Remember? I got infinite lives, and I got formulae of Plastic in my blood, so I am an interglectical super human being with a blood type of AC!!!  
  
Navi: I think He gone crazy...  
  
Link: Now to kill!  
  
(Stabs his sword at the Iron Knuckle)  
  
Iron Knuckle: Grrrrrrrrrrrr...  
  
(Aryll drops out, but was actually too small and didn't get stabbed)  
  
Link: Damn...  
  
(Twinrova's room)  
  
Koume: Wazzup, Little dude?  
  
Link: Nothing much, except this fairy might kill you both.  
  
Navi: HI!  
  
Koume: ACK!  
  
Kotake: YOU KILLED MY SISTER!  
  
Navi: LOOK!  
  
Kotake: ACK!  
  
Link: Damn, I was getting friendly with them...  
  
(Bin Laden rushed in)  
  
Bin Laden: WHO KILLED THE ALMIGHTY TWINROVA?  
  
Link: AHH! HELP! THIS DREADFUL BEAST KILLED THE INNOCENT BOSS AND NOW SHE'S THREATING ME!!!  
  
Navi: LINK!  
  
Bin Laden: OK! Let's GET'EM!  
  
(Grabs a Tommy Gun, and an army of Suicide Pikachus lunges at Navi)  
  
Navi: AHHHHHHH!!!!!!!  
  
Link: Yay! Time for me to get my PARTY SET!  
  
End Chapter  
  
Sorry. Run out of money to do the polls. :D  
  
Chao~ 


	18. The Beginning of the End of the Chapter ...

Horribly, Horrible terror on Hyrule  
  
Chapter 18: The Beginning of the End of the Chapter (In Ganon's Fortress)  
  
Link: Ok! I beat every single temple. Now, what to do, what to do...  
  
Navi: You could check what Rauru says...  
  
Link: SHUT UP! LEAE THIS SUPERINTELEGENT MIND WORK ON ITS OWN!  
  
Navi: If you say so...  
  
Link: Ho hum... I KNOW! I'LL NEED SOME HAMBURGERS!  
  
(2 days later)  
  
Navi: What's the matter, GENIUS?  
  
Link: I know! I'll go to the Temple of Time!  
  
Navi: I said that 3 days ago.  
  
Link: Hell no you didn't.  
  
Navi: I DID!  
  
Link: (Aims the Bow at her) Really?  
  
Navi: ;gulp; Nope. I did not say a single word that day.  
  
Link: Good. Now off to the TEMPLE!  
  
(Temple of Time)  
  
Shiek: CRAP!  
  
Link: What are you doing here?  
  
Thought of Shiek: Ok. Make a goooooood lie.  
  
Shiek: I am here to tell Rauru that you are trying to kill me so he can disqualify you to get the Party Set.  
  
Thought of Shiek: YOU BLEW IT!  
  
Link: WHAT! DAMN YOU, Gaybo!  
  
Shiek: I'm no gay! I can't be gay?  
  
Link: WHAT? Are you bisexual or something?  
  
Thought of Shiek: Crap. Things might get pretty ugly.  
  
Shiek: HELL NO! I'm a girl!  
  
Link: Then why do you have a 6 pack? And you don't look like a girl! Or maybe... YOU ARE BISEXUAL!  
  
Shiek: GODDAMN NO! Ok. Ok. This is the truth.  
  
Link: TRUTH? I know the truth! You ARE bisexual!  
  
Shiek: NO! I'm PRINCESS ZELDA!  
  
(Silence)  
  
Thought of Shiek: Good Going there. Now he'll think we're lezzo or something.  
  
Link: You are bisexual.  
  
Shiek: SOP TALKING ABOUT BISEXUALIY!  
  
Link: Fine. Fine. You got to do me a favor in return!  
  
Shiek: What?  
  
Link: Give me my party set.  
  
Shiek: I don't have any.  
  
(Something traps her)  
  
Link: Hallelujah!  
  
(But it breaks)  
  
Link: D'oh!  
  
Ganondorf: Damn. I knew I should've made a platinum one. Anyways, LINK! COME TO THE FORTRESS TO FIGHT ME!  
  
Link: Hell NO!  
  
(In his thought)  
  
Link: Link, you know what Navi will say...  
  
Navi: HAHA! YOU CAN BEAT IM FOR A PARTY SET! HECK, I THOUGHT YOU WOULD IVE YOUR LIFE FOR IT!  
  
Link: Well, I could kill her after that...  
  
Link: Stuff it. She will get killed eventually. Remember? She got the CURSE.  
  
Link: DEAL!  
  
(In reality)  
  
Link: I change my mind. I'm going!  
  
Ganondorf: Good. Now follow the yellow brick road.  
  
(Link follows the road)  
  
Link: WOW! How am I supposed to go through?  
  
(Bridge appears)  
  
Link: My lucky day!  
  
Thoughts of Ganondorf: Damn. I really should change the date it appears.  
  
(Ganon's Fortress)  
  
Link: Look! A barrier stuck on the door!  
  
Navi: Duh.  
  
Link: How did you get here?  
  
Navi: ;shrugs;  
  
Link: Ok. I want you to break this barrier.  
  
Navi: How?  
  
Link: Like this! (Goes in one of the other doors and beats it) Got it?  
  
Navi: Gotcha.  
  
(after 3 minutes, Navi comes out)  
  
Navi: That was easy.  
  
Link: I'm going through!  
  
(Climbs, up, and up, and up, and up, and up, and up, and up, and up, and up, and up, and up, and up, and up, and up, and up, and up, and up, and up, and up.)  
  
Link: I made it!  
  
(He falls down)  
  
Link: Damn.  
  
Farore: I shall help you.  
  
Link: Thanks.  
  
(In Ganon's room)  
  
Ganondorf: Now, A matter between life, and death...  
  
Link: Hey, so if I die, I have to die.  
  
Ganondorf: NO, no, no. It's just a figure of speech.  
  
End Chapter 


	19. Te End of an End of the chapter known as...

Horribly, horrible terror on Hyrule  
  
Me: The last chapter on this story!  
  
A/n: Hallelujah!  
  
Me: ;punches A/n; now, sit back and enjoy the last of pi Horribly, horrible terror on HYRULE! /i/p  
  
Chapter 19: Te End of an End of the chapter know as Finale Battele  
  
Link: Prepare for the fight scene!  
  
Ganondorf: Okay! (They appear in a different stage)  
  
Link: O.o; I just wanted you to say On guarde.  
  
Ganondorf: I don't have a sword!  
  
Interuptor: You do now! (Gives him a sword)  
  
Link: O.O YOU CALL THAT A SWORD? THAT LOOKS LIKE AN AXE WITH A GIANT BLADE!  
  
Interuptor: Duh.  
  
Link: HOW AM I SUPPOSE TO FIGHT THAT?  
  
Interuptor: You got a better weapon than that!  
  
Link: What? My shield? No, this shield is made out of aluminum.  
  
Interuptor: No, Navi!  
  
Navi: Hello, everybody!  
  
Link: Yeah, but what if she dies?  
  
Navi: Hey! I resent hat!  
  
Link: Whatever. Anyway, This is injustice!  
  
Interuptor: Who cares?  
  
Link: FINE! In return, you give me your life insurance.  
  
Interuptor: No.  
  
Link: Damn you!  
  
Interuptor: Ganondorf is attacking you.  
  
Link: Fine! NAVI! DO YOUR STUFF!  
  
Navi: Ok! HEY! LOOK! LISTEN!  
  
(It backfires)  
  
Link: Hallelujah! The bracket did something that is actually good!  
  
(To Link)  
  
Link: D'oh!  
  
(Ha ha.)  
  
;That's Enough!;  
  
(What are you gonna do about it?)  
  
;Dunno. What are YOU going to do about it?;  
  
(You got me.)  
  
Link: Listen, why do you fight somewhere else?  
  
(Ok then.)  
  
;Let's go to Hawaii.;  
  
(Good Idea)  
  
Ganondorf: Ok. I've been neglected half of this chapter, so I'm gonna get Revenge!  
  
Link: Knock yourself out.  
  
Ganondorf: Okay, not bad.  
  
Narrator: So Ganondorf killed himself making Link the Champion. Meanwhile, the Author is running here.  
  
Author: THAT'S ISN'T SUPPOSE TO HAPPEN!  
  
Link: Ad why not?  
  
Author: Cause now you have o run across this castle while it collapes and fight a pig-faced Bastard again!  
  
Link: You are not going to let that happen are you?  
  
Author: Of course I am!  
  
Link: *****************  
  
Narrator: Link jus swore so badly that the build is now about to collapse.  
  
Link: Argh! I am not going to make it!  
  
Narrator: Link accidentally trips over and fell off the castle.  
  
Audience: Yay.  
  
Narrator: But Navi saved him.  
  
Audience: Boo.  
  
Navi: Damn. I'm just gonna let him go.  
  
Audience: Yay.  
  
Narrator: But te ground level was low so Link was safe.  
  
Audience: BOO! (Throws Cabbages at Navi)  
  
Link: I'm Immortal!  
  
Ganon: No, I'm IMMORTAL!  
  
Navi: HEY! LOOK! LISTEN!  
  
Ganon: Erk! (Dies)  
  
Link: Yay! Time for the Party Set! Where's Zelda!  
  
Narrator: On top of the castle, Zelda was signaling Link for help, which Link ignored, and then tried to suicide herself by jumping off the castle.  
  
Link: I see. Time to check on Rauru.  
  
Rauru: Good job, Link! Here is your Party Set!  
  
Link: Yay! I got the Party Set!  
  
*  
  
*  
  
*  
  
*  
  
A/n: Find out on the last chapter of the Horribly, Horrible Chapter on Hyrule to know what he got from the Party Set! 


End file.
